White House Declares War on DSL Provider

[Mitch]

WASHINGTON, DC—The Bush Administration is awaiting congressional approval for an official act of war against high-speed DSL service provider Qwest, White House officials confirmed Tuesday. "After two weeks of trying to peaceably resolve our differences with Qwest, we have decided that this poor customer service will not stand," Bush said in a televised address. "I waited in the Oval Office all day for the technician to show up, and then, when I called them to find out where he was, I was transferred to another phone rep and got disconnected. We will begin bombarding them with tersely worded e-mails as early as next week." This marks the third time Bush has declared war this month, following conflicts with DIRECTV and the Potomac Electric Power Company.

[Bell]

This is a joke. Right?

If not, then welcome to the real world Mr. President. Maybe you should extend that little war and include the rest of us. We don't have the assets or the equipment and manpower to wage that type of war on asshole companies like you, but we'd very much like to be included in your little dispute.

The fuckers are everywhere and this shit goes on daily. Welcome to the real world.

RLTW
Bell

[Steadfast]

I would like to join in the War on Cable companies and if Presidential protection is provided, I would certainly begin blowing up transmitting stations.

Anything to cut down on Jane Fonda's income would be my pleasure.

[Steadfast]

I would like to join in the War on Cable companies and if Presidential protection is provided, I would certainly begin blowing up transmitting stations.

Anything to cut down on Jane Fonda's income would be my pleasure.

Why do I feel like my sheeeeet is in the wind?