Uncle Bob

Kaley_B · Post by **Kaley_B** » June 10th, 2004, 1:35 pm

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket an the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?"

"Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

"That's a fine story Lucy," she continued. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was an Army Ranger in Vietnam and his helicopter got hit. He crash landed in enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with with the machete till the blade broke and then kill the last ten with his bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you
from that horrible story?"

"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."

AngryPistols · Post by **AngryPistols** » June 10th, 2004, 1:37 pm

:D :D

Parabellum · Post by **Parabellum** » June 10th, 2004, 1:56 pm

RideGrrl · Post by **RideGrrl** » June 10th, 2004, 4:48 pm

I think Uncle "Bob" could be interchangeable for Uncle "(insert name of any Ranger on this site)" ;)

Parabellum · Post by **Parabellum** » June 10th, 2004, 4:50 pm

RideGrrl wrote: I think Uncle "Bob" could be interchangeable for Uncle "(insert name of any Ranger on this site)" ;)

Hey, hey I take offense to that. Wait...no I don't.

RideGrrl · Post by **RideGrrl** » June 10th, 2004, 5:45 pm

H8train1/75 wrote:
Hey, hey I take offense to that. Wait...no I don't.

How did you know you were the first Ranger to come to mind when I wrote that???

;)

Looon · Post by **Looon** » June 10th, 2004, 6:18 pm