Sending Old Men To War

Chiron · Post by **Chiron** » May 20th, 2004, 9:03 am

Sending Old Men To War
If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, DC But, I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier.

If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a
jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early (to pee).

If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys.

We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one." And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, to wear pants without the top of the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out, to learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All
great reasons to keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death, let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
Share this with your senior friends

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » May 20th, 2004, 11:20 am

DoorGunner wrote:Oh, I couldn't agree with you more! We fight dirty and we're Verrrrrrrrrrrrry
patient! And we're already at least half dead.

Hmmmm.........So if we are already half dead.......Hmmmmmm......That means we still have a chance since we are still...........Hmmmmmm.........half alive!

Slowpoke · Post by **Slowpoke** » May 21st, 2004, 12:37 am

I'm down with it Brothers, let's go!

Rgr_MindRiot · Post by **Rgr_MindRiot** » May 21st, 2004, 6:41 am

There is something to be said for the potential of experienced, mature operators. Maybe we don't want to hump 100 lb rucks for 25-30 miles but wtf, a raiding force made up of experience but somewhat aged fighters would be just the ticket. If the military is not interested, guess i will have to save my ammo for the scumbags whos numbers seem to be on the rise.

<------//////)

Chiron · Post by **Chiron** » May 21st, 2004, 11:21 am

Iâ€™m in. A few weeks on upgrading our knowledge, getting our zeroâ€¦.

Parabellum · Post by **Parabellum** » May 21st, 2004, 3:03 pm

I can put you guys through RIP!

Bell · Post by **Bell** » May 21st, 2004, 9:08 pm

h8train1/75 wrote:I can put you guys through RIP!

Wrong. We BTDT. Never again.

I'm with you guys on that trip. Hell, I'd carry beans and bullets to those young heros on the front line. I'd do their body counts for em while they hunted down some more of those punks. I'd do the POW transfers. I'd do anything.

I know why they won't let us go. They're afraid of us. We know how it works and we'd steal em blind. We'd be the best supplied unit over there. The war would be over in less than a year and they'd have little Rangers running around all over the country. They ain't gonna let us go.

RLTW
Bell

Parabellum · Post by **Parabellum** » May 22nd, 2004, 11:06 am

Bell wrote:
h8train1/75 wrote:I can put you guys through RIP!
Wrong. We BTDT. Never again.

I'm with you guys on that trip. Hell, I'd carry beans and bullets to those young heros on the front line. I'd do their body counts for em while they hunted down some more of those punks. I'd do the POW transfers. I'd do anything.

I know why they won't let us go. They're afraid of us. We know how it works and we'd steal em blind. We'd be the best supplied unit over there. The war would be over in less than a year and they'd have little Rangers running around all over the country. They ain't gonna let us go.

RLTW
Bell

Come on Bell you went through RIP when it was hard. It is easy now. especially for old guys. We give you menimusal and fiber drinks. Plus we have a large selection of ice cream so you guys don't have to chew your food. You can also use straws too.

The swirlly ones. You have to go through RIP if you have been out of Batt for more than 6 months. Especially if you have been out for more than 6,666 months. We also supply the coke bottle glasses cause we know that you guys can't see so well anymore.

BadMuther · Post by **BadMuther** » May 22nd, 2004, 3:11 pm

Bell wrote:
h8train1/75 wrote:I can put you guys through RIP!
Wrong. We BTDT. Never again.

I'm with you guys on that trip. Hell, I'd carry beans and bullets to those young heros on the front line. I'd do their body counts for em while they hunted down some more of those punks. I'd do the POW transfers. I'd do anything.

I know why they won't let us go. They're afraid of us. We know how it works and we'd steal em blind. We'd be the best supplied unit over there. The war would be over in less than a year and they'd have little Rangers running around all over the country. They ain't gonna let us go.

RLTW
Bell

Ain't that the truth!!

Rgr_MindRiot · Post by **Rgr_MindRiot** » May 24th, 2004, 5:24 am

RIP....we don't need RIP! Never went to RIP in the first place, didn't need to. RIP is an administrative tool used to give those with a lack of commitment a chance to puss-out before the going gets tough.

Now that the new Army gives the Batts. vehicles to drive ie gun jeeps, humvees, motorcycles, bikes etc... mobility should not be a problem, jeez and to think i felt guilty about getting on a duece and a half for mass transport.

Since the Army gives out new optics we should be able to put the little red dot or circle on something down-range that looks like it moves and try to kill it, hell i could never see what i was aiming at with iron sights past 300m, i just liked trying to kill something.

Don't need no special food, just give me ammo and a 2 qt canteen full of Ensure and i'm gtg.