IDENTIFIED AS POSER
IDENTIFIED AS POSER
Name Mike Holtum
AKA: oneshotonekill; mholtum
Email Address: email@example.com
We initially ran across this poser when he was trying to sell a pistol (H&K Tac) for $1200 on the internet. His explanation of the pistol’s background was:
“How bad do you want one and would you consider a used one?
I have one that was my sidearm when I was with the 3/75th. I haven’t fired it in probably 5 yrs. Very well maintained and only dropped once. And yes, I have the suppressor as well. I would think that with the suppressor, 2 extra clips, combat thigh holster, that $1200 would be a fair price. However, if you can tell me your sons score on the Darby Queen at Ft. Benning, I will give you the “good guy” price.
Ah yes, the tabless Regimental Bitch.. I have known a lot of them. But ya wanna hear something that will really piss him off? I enlisted in the army as DEP (Delayed Entry Program) and left for Ft. Benning, GA June 15th, 1982, 48 hours after graduating High School. Now when I enlisted I enlisted Infantry. Period. However two weeks before graduation I was offered Airborne School. I took it. After AB School, I met a Lt Col. Johnson in a bar and proceeded to drink an entire paycheck with him. (We got paid once a month then). When I returned from 4 days leave, I was called into my CO’s office and told that I had been transferred. Not knowing what the fuck was going on and fearing that the Army was bending me over and sliping me the meat, I said, “Transferred? Transferred where? Sir.”
Without looking up, he replied “RTB, and you are expected to report to a Lt Col. Johnson no later than 1500 hrs today.
Turns out I impressed the man and he requested my transfer to the Ranger Training Brigade. I was 19 yrs old. Needless to say, the rest is history. I was tabbed at 19yrs old. Out of a class of 150, 27 graduated and became a part of the most elite fighting forces on the planet. 10 yr later, 1n 1993 I took a round in the chest for some piece of shit country in Africa and left my right lung somewhere in the sand.
Career over. Forced retirement at 29 yrs old at E-8.
I spend the better part of my life with the 3/75.
The weapon, if you are interested was given to me by Lt Col Johnson the day before my first combat jump. Which was Granada.
It is a piece of history. It has killed more people than I care to think about. This weapon has a soul. If you buy it. You must promise me to allow your son to fire it…
Only after he defeats the Queen. Oh, and by the way…No matter what they tell him, he will NOT be ready…
By the time I was 21 I was married, 1 son, who is with the 3-325 of the 82nd AB. He DOR’d during the last week of RS so he could transfer to the 82nd and deploy to Iraq with 5 of his buddies from basic. And had 4 combat jumps and the first of many ribbons that were, well how do you say it? “unwearable”? Meaning I couldn’t display them on my uniform and that they didn’t exist.”
We were, of course interested because 3d Ranger Battalion did not exist at the time of the Invasion of Granada (activation date for 3d Battalion was 4 October 1984). The Ranger Training Brigade (RTB) did not exist in 1983 (It was still the Ranger Department, USA Infantry School) and members of the RTB are not deployed for combat. And, oh by the way, the H&K Tac (the pistol offered for sale) was not introduced until after 1990. Mike Holtum, we discovered was more than willing to tell his war stories to anyone willing to listen. So we did. A sample of his later entries, captured before he removed most of the content from the internet:
“I wasn’t a GB (Green Beret). I was with the 75th Ranger RGT. I was in RECON and it was a hoot have some stories, too bad I can’t tell anyone..”
OUTCOME: Verified US Army Ranger Veterans visited Mike Holtum, at which point he clearly stated for the record that he had never been an Army Ranger and that his story was a blatant lie. But let our “Poser Posse” leader tell the story:
“Rangers....It gives me a great feeling to report that Mr. Mike Holtum has been busted face to face.
This Ranger, along with three other LRPs , arrived at the AO at approx 2020hs 6NOV05. A security net was set - two LRPs covering flanks - just out of site and a rear security element was also in place.
Pointman approached the kill zone and made his presence known. Targets H6 came to the door as target came out from the carport area. Target , MW 195 -210, brown eyes, dark short hair 5'10" and Earring Left ear, approached .
Target stated "What do you want?" Pointman stated "Are you Mike Holtum?" and received an affirmative reply. At this point Targets H6 ask "Mike, do you know him?", Target replied "No, I do not." Pointman replied "YES, You do know me Mike, I'm LRP1." (as a hand of FRIENDSHIP was extended in the Targets direction.
Rangers - I apologize for not having my camera in my hand - The look of shock and panic on his face was worth the trip. I almost started laughing in his face. He then told his wife to "Go back inside" He did know me.
Keeping in mind Ranger Silverbacks OP Order, I did use restraint and was a very pleasant guest. I told him that He will cease and desist with his BS claims on the Web and he stated to me " I am sorry for embellishing and making claims that are not true." I reminded him that there is a difference between embellishment and flat out lying, to which he said " yes, I know." He said he would not get on the Web and apologize.
I told him I was almost 60 yrs old and walked with a cane, as he could see, and he would be amazed what an old FOG War Dog could do with a cane. The funniest part was he kept looking around asking who all these other people were. Hell, I guess they are your neighbors I said. ( There were approx 20 people across the street and they all started to gather around.
My security shouted " Preacher, you ok? Do I need to come in and kick someone’s ass?" I did laugh then and rear security stated " Choppers inbound - we need to unass the AO."
I don't know why so many people were gathered in his neighborhood but we decided to leave. I told him as I left " Mike, I am one of the nicer Rangers- the next time, if needed , they will not be as nice as me."
I also reminded him that this is a very small world and a VERY SMALL WWW.”