Taxi Ride

[Steadfast]

I was driving a taxi cab between jobs in NYC back in 1974. I pulled up to curb by Madison Square Garden (MSG) for a fare. Below MSG was a subway connecting Manhattan to New Jersey. Place was always good to get a fare. This short elderly gentleman comes running up to me, out of breath, panting and gasping between his breaths. I see he is wearing Papal clothing and I will be darned. He is the freakin Pope, Poke John I think his name is. He leans in my window and breathes between his words telling me, "I have got an important engagement at Saint Patrick's Catheral on 5th Ave & E 56th Street & I gotta be there in 5 minutes." I can tell he is extremely excited. I explained, "Your High Holy Lordship, there is no way I can get you to St. Patrick's Catheral in five minutes thru the streets of NYC. I will probably get a ticket for speeding Your Lordship" I say. The Pope says, "It is extremely important for me to get there. Will you let me drive then?" I concede thinking to myself, I may get into heaven afterall!. I said to the Pope, "Okay Your Lordship, you drive. I will get in the back seat." I could see the big smile emerge on his face as I vacated my drivers seat. As I settled in the back seat, He jumped behind the wheel and jammed on the gas and we squealed away from the curb. I closed my eyes as I hear and felt his brake and speed back up. I swear he took the 1st turn on two wheels. I put my seatbelt on and hung on for dear life. I was jarred side to side as he speed like a demon through traffic, tires continued squealing from the brakes and again stomping on the gas. I started praying loudly. So God could hear me as his minion drove to the church. I hear a police siren and a voice over the loudspeaker. "This is the Police, You in the yellow cab, pull over to the curb." I hear the Pope say, "Damn!" I hear the cop say to His Lordship, "Where's the fire? You were doing 50 in a 30 mph zone." The Pope says, "I am in a hurry to get to St. Patrick's Catheral. I have an important engagement." The cop looks at me in the back and looks back at the Pope. The cop says, Aren't you the Pope?" the Pope says, "Yes and I am in a hurry, time is a wasting. Can you let me go" asks the Pope? The cop says, "I am going to have to call this one in to Sarge and let him make a decision on this your Popeship. Sarge I need your help on a matter out here in the streets (Policeman speaks into his radio). I got someone very big out here, very big. Sarge, this guy was doing 50 in a 30 mph zone." Sarge's voice answers, "well who is it? Is it Mayor Bloomberg?" Cop says, "No, he's bigger than the mayor." Sarge's voice, "Well is it Governor Pataki?" "No, bigger than Pataki" says the cop. Sarge's voice, "Well is it President Bush?" "No" said the cop, "bigger." sarge's voice, "Well then who in the hell is it?" Cop says, " I don't know who it is, but he has the Pope for a Chauffeur."