A midget walks into the bar looking to have a few drinks.
The Midget (M): Hey bartenter one beer please.
Bartender (B): Sorry, we don't serve your kind here.
M: What do you mean
B: You little guys just get too surly when you drink. Here have a soda on the house.
The midget climbs on the bar stool and enjoys his soda. After about an hour the bartender feels sorry for the midget since he has been behaving himself and starts giving him a few beers. The midget then notices a large jar full of fifty dollar bills.
M: Hey bartender why is the jar full of fifty dollar bills.
B: We have a running bet here at the bar. It's a fifty dollar buy in. To win the bet you have to do three things. The first is knock out that Samoan at the end of the bar. The second is to go out back and pull the loose tooth on the pit bull. The third is upstairs you will find a hooker that has never climaxed before. You have to make her climax.
M: Okay, I'm in!
The midget, drunk as a sailor on shore leave, slaps a fifty on the bar. Jumps on the bar running down it's length and drop kicks the Samoan int he side of the head laying him out cold. He then picks himself up and marches puposefully to the awaiting pit bull.
At first the people in the bar hear this savage barking and growling it's seems to last for 15 minutes then they hear the pit bull whinning and crying. A few minutes later the midget comes back in the bar torn up and covered in blood.
The midget turns to the bartender and asks in a drunken slur, "Okay so where is this hooker with the loose tooth".
Midget walks into a bar...
Moderator: Site Admin
Midget walks into a bar...
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Henery Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
"I might not be Airborne however, it's whats on my right sleave!"
*1992-1996 USMC CPL
* 12/2005- present USAR Medic PL/ Human Terrain Teams
"I might not be Airborne however, it's whats on my right sleave!"
*1992-1996 USMC CPL
* 12/2005- present USAR Medic PL/ Human Terrain Teams
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MaddMike275
- Ranger
- Posts: 19
- Joined: August 12th, 2005, 1:45 pm
You know that joke sounds a lot like a story one of my former marine buddies told me about a tripe he and some other marines took to TJ! 
HAHAHA YOU MISSED ME!!!
C 2/75 '01'03 OEFx2
RS 3-02
100/442 IN USAR OIF (Check out the Nov26 Edition of the Army Times cover for one of the dipshits I served with in Iraq)
currently with D 1/505 PIR 3Bct 82nd Abn
C 2/75 '01'03 OEFx2
RS 3-02
100/442 IN USAR OIF (Check out the Nov26 Edition of the Army Times cover for one of the dipshits I served with in Iraq)
currently with D 1/505 PIR 3Bct 82nd Abn
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keepsmilin
- Tadpole
- Posts: 359
- Joined: April 25th, 2005, 9:56 am
Whatever Works..
Ho..hoo..
Whatever works for the lil guy!!!
The mental image of that lil get rendevous is not a good one though..
-KS
Whatever works for the lil guy!!!
The mental image of that lil get rendevous is not a good one though..
-KS
"Do not be too moral, you may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something."
~Henry David Thoreau
~Henry David Thoreau
,
I wonder if it was good for the pit bull? RS Class 5-82
French Commando 11-83
LRSLC Class 5-87
U.S. Army 1980-1984 and 1987-1990
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“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.”
George S. Patton
French Commando 11-83
LRSLC Class 5-87
U.S. Army 1980-1984 and 1987-1990
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“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.”
George S. Patton
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289sotherhalf
- Supreme Goddess of Drive On/Moderator
- Posts: 6922
- Joined: April 6th, 2005, 12:39 pm