Jump week anecdote

airbornepog · Post by **airbornepog** » June 12th, 2005, 7:53 pm

So there we were, it was Jump week. We had been at it for two and a half weeks already, already had a couple of jumps under our belt. On the day of our third jump, I snuck a can of Copenhagen with me to the training area. I knew I would have a lot of downtime, and all day was too long to go without a dip. We did our jump, I had a couple of low profile dips during the day. I was nervous about it, because I remember the black hats telling us tobacco was not authorized on the training area. Well, after the day was finished, my stick got put on chute detail. Fuck! Out in the sun all day, now fucking chute detail. We got started on the detail, and after a while I said fuck it and put in a dip. No sooner did i get it in did I hear "135! get your ass over here!!'
"Yes Sgt Airborne?" I asked
"Go help those guys over there"
Whew! I was off the hook. there is no way he didnt notice the nice dip of cope in my lip, he was dipping too, so I figured it must be kind of an honor among dippers thing or something. WRONG! 10 minutes later I hear "135 get your fucking ass over here! what the fuck is that in your lip?"
"Copenhagen Sgt Airborne"
"Congratulations, you just washed out of airborne school! come with me"
I followed him into the harness shed and upstairs to the NCOIC. they started reaming my ass and wrote out a counseling recommending I be dropped from airborne school. Then they told me to take my can out of my pocket. "You want to chew, take a chew tough guy!" they told me. I put some more in...."No take a mans chew, you wanna dip dont ya?" this went on until i had put the rest of my can into my mouth (over 1/2 a can) I had the shit ear to ear. "Now get the fuck outta here" he said. I went downstairs and they yelled at me to stop. "Sidestraddle hop!" he yelled. I started exercising. "Beat your boots" this went on for about 10 minutes till I was breathing hard. I was in the shed, and couldn't spit, and by this time my entire mouth was filled with copenhagen paste and juice. The two black hats stood there smoking me, laughing. All I was thinking about was not swallowing the mouthful of chew, and thinking that if I didnt bitch out on this smoking, I would maybe get another chance. Then one black hat turned to the other, and i saw his lips mouth the words "Watch this.....FLUTTER KICK!" I laid down on my back and all of that goop and chew and spit went down the back of my throat....I was coughing and gagging, and gurgling some of that shit out onto my chin, but I was still doing the exercises.....finally the e-7 said "Recover airborne" I stood up....."Go get that shit out of your mouth" I went outside and spit the shit out, gagging and trying not to puke. I thought it was over but when i went back into the shed They continued to smoke me for over an hour. This was all in front of most of the company still in the shed waiting for the bus or something. I finished the day following the black hat who caught me all over doing the duck walk......that night I had to strip and wax the platoon office.....I was still scared about getting dropped, they were telling all the students I was already kicked out, but I thought I had a chance and waxed the fuck out of the floor....you could see yourself in that motherfucker. The next day I got called into the office and got smoked again till sweat was dripping off my face onto the floor.....I got chewed out for fucking up his waxed floor.....then the black hat told him I was the one who waxed it, and I was told that for the rest of my time there, every night I would come into the office and strip and wax the floor......and that was that........off the hook........

Kilted Heathen · Post by **Kilted Heathen** » June 12th, 2005, 8:52 pm

We now return you to our regularly scheduled shut the fuck up.

deleon275 · Post by **deleon275** » June 12th, 2005, 10:50 pm

Paragraphs, and...

Towedjmpr · Post by **Towedjmpr** » June 13th, 2005, 9:35 am

Dumb ass.

B 2/75 · Post by **B 2/75** » June 13th, 2005, 9:49 am

And I suppose you'll pop in a dip on day 11 of the Florida patrol, jes because it's a hot day, and WTF? It's all about me anyway, RIGHT?

No sympathy. You broke the rules. Are you expecting backslapping and congratulations on a job well done?

What KH said.

JMK SF G-2 · Post by **JMK SF G-2** » June 13th, 2005, 10:08 am

Towedjmpr wrote:Dumb ass.

Agreed.

airbornepog · Post by **airbornepog** » June 13th, 2005, 3:42 pm

Sympathy? Wasnt looking for any. Was just relating an amusing story about my experiences as an e-nothing at jump school and the NCOs that taught me a lesson......you guys need to lighten up.....

Towedjmpr · Post by **Towedjmpr** » June 13th, 2005, 4:23 pm

Lighten up? You have no fucking clue.

AbnRgr289 · Post by **AbnRgr289** » June 13th, 2005, 4:24 pm

airbornepog wrote:Sympathy? Wasnt looking for any. Was just relating an amusing story about my experiences as an e-nothing at jump school and the NCOs that taught me a lesson......you guys need to lighten up.....

That is "Ranger B 2/75".

And lighten up my ass, we haven't even begun to get hard yet!

Kilted Heathen · Post by **Kilted Heathen** » June 13th, 2005, 6:11 pm

airbornepog wrote:Sympathy? Wasnt looking for any. Was just relating an amusing story about my experiences as an e-nothing at jump school and the NCOs that taught me a lesson......you guys need to lighten up.....

Your story is bullshit.
No Black Hats have balls enough to smoke you like that.

rgrpuck · Post by **rgrpuck** » June 13th, 2005, 7:27 pm

Kilted Heathen wrote:
airbornepog wrote:Sympathy? Wasnt looking for any. Was just relating an amusing story about my experiences as an e-nothing at jump school and the NCOs that taught me a lesson......you guys need to lighten up.....
Your story is bullshit.
No Black Hats have balls enough to smoke you like that.

Hell those fuckers would get nervious when I picked up the New RIP class. All the 1SG's hemmed me up one afternoon makeing all kinds of hollow threats, so I wouldnt start breaking the RIPPEEs off in the ABN area. So I would pull them just out side the gate and smoke the FUCK out of them. Then make em put D'bags on and run them back to the RIP DET. Fuck a buncha pussy black hats.

Bugsy · Post by **Bugsy** » June 13th, 2005, 8:34 pm

We the jury have found there was insuffucient evidence to convict.........

NOT GUILTY

Fuck that we have our own rules of engagment....

DROP FUCKER!!!

KW Driver · Post by **KW Driver** » June 13th, 2005, 9:28 pm

and don't be afraid to tell all your hard stories to any of the Batt boys you see once you get to the Service Company. They'll all be impressed.

Bell · Post by **Bell** » June 13th, 2005, 11:06 pm

You just posted a story about you flagrantly disobeying orders and taking smoke for it and think this board approves? Fuck up is one thing....disobeying orders is another. Getting caught is stupid.

We talk a lot of shit on here but we would never take a step in the wrong direction in a school. Granted, there's been some stupid shit posted in here. But, if it's flagrant disobedience then it ain't funny. Don't ya get it? Those instructors are in here. We have Cadre here. That story isn't funny. It's expected.

RLTW
Bell

airbornepog · Post by **airbornepog** » June 14th, 2005, 2:21 am

Well Rangers, you should all be thankfull you all never did anything stupid when you were privates! And for the record, if I was gonna write a bullshit story I could have probably came up with a better one than that.....Im not about to get into a pissing contest with a bunch of Rangers on Armyranger.com's message board......lets fucking forget about it.....I thought it was a funny story about fuckin up as a private.....you guys don't.......fuck it, who cares..just one of those stories most of us have......i wouldn't risk some shit like that in RIP or Ranger School.....like you say jump school isnt what it used to be......live and learn right?