Low Speed High Drag Old Fart

[Bondodawg]

Hello Gentlemen, I'm just a old wornout Bradley gunner with Echo troop 163d CAV Montana Guard. All I get to do is run around in the box at FT Erwin for 3 weeks a year , but I need a favor. You see I got a kid in RIP pending, and he gets to come home for Christmas and give his daddy a hug. What I need from you is some good idea's to help make him feel welcome. If you know what I mean. Thanks

[Horned Toad]

If you want to make him feel right at home there is always the old standbys

the iron chair
the dying cockroach
and watching tv

if he gets underfoot to much that way give him a 100 pound ruck and tell to go walking for the next 72 hrs.

[Disinfertention]

Ranger AZRanger1 wrote:
Is your kid in RIP right now?? If so, will he graduate prior to coming home?

He said he was in RIP Pending. Which is where they have all the wannabes come in and get "used" to the RIP cadre and the idea of Ranger Life for at least 2 weeks. They use it to see if they can get more people to quit, and it works.

They basicly are just bitches doing "land beautification" all day =D

Give him lots of Time hacks. Like, when he gets off the plane and you are walking to get your bags, the second he gets them tell him he has 15 seconds to get the hell out of the Airport (if that really doesn't seem reasonable at all, add a few more seconds) If he doesn't make it, then make him get down, hold the bag or bags up over his head while doing flutter kicks. If that doesn't work then just make him hold it over his head. Then give him whatever original time he had to get out there minus some time and give him a try again.

At home, be sure to get him up at 5 and ready by 5:30 for PT. Do whatever PT it is that you want, but be sure it involves low crawling through the mud. And also be sure the mud smells like complete shit. After you are done, give him 8 minutes to run inside, shower, change and be back outside ready to get some chow. If he doesnt make that time hack, smoke him up again. Ask him about his "favorite position" while he's down, and if he doesn't know then it is this. Tell him to stick his ass up in the air like he is resting, then walk his feet up to his hands and place his hands in a diamond form. You don't even have to make him to pushups here, but its so damn halarious if you do.

If you really want to smoke him up good, have him do rotations of the following :: 25 pushups, 25 moutian climbers (in cadence) and 25 flutter kicks (in cadence). Have him do a few roations of that, it will wear him out quite nicely.

That should get ya started

One last thing. I'm not sure which one of the barracks he is in, or which room... But one major thing you need to do is go buy a rooster. Get this rooster outside of whatever room he is in (out in front of the window) and be sure that you break the glass in the room so you can hear him loud and clear every fucking morning at 4am when he starts he little routine.

That will make him feel undoubtedly welcome to home... he will feel as if he never left in a way.

Oh, one other thing too. Find a huge hill, or just a hill will do. Be sure you have an extra person with you, or just use yourself. Turn around to him and say in a real scruffy voice, "Alright men, pick up your buddy." And do repeats of buddy carries up the hill. He may not know which SGT that is, but I'm willing to bet he's heard the stories, so maybe he will.

[Saltbitch]

That's the good stuff, Dis!!

[Spartan]

Hello Gentlemen, I'm just a old wornout Bradley gunner with Echo troop 163d CAV Montana Guard. All I get to do is run around in the box at FT Erwin for 3 weeks a year , but I need a favor. You see I got a kid in RIP pending, and he gets to come home for Christmas and give his daddy a hug. What I need from you is some good idea's to help make him feel welcome. If you know what I mean. Thanks

So, how did that kid of yours do at RIP? Make it through?