Sick Nursery rhymes

[Vee]

Thought some of you SICK MOTHERFUCKERS might laugh at these:


Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
I pushed him down
And watched him fall.
All the King's horses,
And all the King's men,
Rode by and slipped
on his albumen.

Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick.
Jack butchered his family
And moved to Canada.

Simple Simon
Broke my hymen
Going to the Fair.
I said, "Simon,"
"That's my pie, man!"
"I ain't got a slice to spare!"

Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,
A knife in his sister's thigh.
He said to the coroner,
"Though I am a mourner,"
"If you're not to eat her,"
"May I?"

Wee Willy Winkle
Ran through the night.
But I finally caught him
And did him right.
He screamed and squirmed
And put up a fight.
I soon found out why,
'Cause boy, was he tight!

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet,
Her legs wide open and splayed.
When down came a spider,
Who crawled up inside her
And tickled miss Muffet all day.

Hickory, Dickory, Dock.
Rammed a mouse on to my cock.
Without a sound
I turned it around,
And watched it go into shock.

Jack Sprat
Ate a cat.
He shat a rat.
And that was that.

Old Mother Hubbard
Was found in her cupboard,
Her flesh eaten
Through to the bone.
When they discovered
Old Father Hubbard
'Said, "Bitch wouldn't"
"Leave me alone."

Hey Diddle Diddle,
My penis is little
and shriveled
and shrunk like a prune.
But if you will squeeze it
And tease it, and please it,
It'll blow up just like
A balloon.

Georgie Porgie,
Glasses and Cups,
Kissed the Girls and
Knocked them up,
When their parents
found out what they did
They got out a coathanger
and tore out the kid.

Rock-A-Bye Baby
On the tree top,
I threw a rock,
and the cradle dropped,
The little head broke,
and all I could see,
was a new meaning,
to the word "infant-tree"

Twinkle Twinkle little knife,
Adept you are at taking life,
I love the glitter as you slash,
people who are carrying cash.


Four and Twenty Blackbirds
Baked in a pie
pull out their feathers
and watch them die.
It is such sport to hear them scream
I reach in my pants
and begin to cream.


AND FINALLY, A RECENTLY UNCOVERED EPIC FABLE ABOUT THE PASTOR
There once was a man named McDowell,
Whose dog had very tight bowels,
He freed it a bit,
with his tongue and some spit,
And he needed to use lots of towels.
The mutt was soon shitting a crateful.
When the pastor came by, he was hateful.
"This is truly a sin
But I have to give in,
If you loosen me up- I'd be grateful."
The pastor said, "I have not shat."
McDowell said, "We'll see to that."
Though he thought he might fail,
He saw a pink tail,
And out popped a yellow-eyed rat!
"Alas," said the rat, "I am torn,
from the place in which I was born.
I am out on the street,
with nothing to eat.
Away from my peanuts and corn."
"Mr. Rat your fortune is made,"
said the pastor who knelt down and prayed.
The Lord heard his words,
And filled him with turds,
So he bent himself over and sprayed.
The rat dug into his pile,
The dog left after awhile.
The Pastor, he squealed,
when McDowell kneeled,
but his "blessing" sure left a big smile!

[Kelly-Belly]

[Ripcord]

Ranger V-Rod your a poet and don't know it
This little diddy got me sent to the princeables office inthe 4th grade
Kitty,Kitty Fur Soft As Silk
Come ,Come and Drink Your Posion Milk

[VAK]

V, your depravity amazes even me....

Don't get me wrong I was laughing a few of them, but still you're a sick, sick man....

Be Safe Brother,
usaftacp

[Vee]

You guys are KILLIN me!

I didn't write them! I just found them on the internet