South Carolina Courtroom

[Slowpoke]

Be careful what you ask.....

South Carolina Courtroom:

During a trial in a small South Carolina town, the local
prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was
sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth, on the Bible, so help her God.

The witness was a proper, well-dressed elderly lady, the
Grandmother type, well spoken and poised. The prosecuting attorney
approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and
talk badly about
them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when
you haven't the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well." The
lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for a few minutes. Then,
slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and jurors' faces,
not to mention the court reporter who documented every word.

Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, has a bad drinking
problem. The man can't build or keep a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to
mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know
him."

The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping
downward in his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter mixed with gasps,
thundered throughout the courtroom and the audience was on the verge of
chaos.

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence,
called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said,
"If either of you morons asks her if she knows me, you're going to
jail."