Application to Date My Daughter

Moni D · Post by **Moni D** » July 9th, 2004, 10:26 am

Found this on another site from a friend... figured all you proud Poppas of little (or not so little/young) girls would get a kick out of it :D

APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history,
lineage, and current medical report from your physician.
Name:________________________ Date of Birth:_________________
Height:_________ Weight:__________ IQ:_________ GPA:__________
Social Security #:___________ Driver's License #: Number:_______
Boy Scout Rank:_________________ Telephone:___________________
Home Address:______________________________________________
City:__________________________ State:__________ Zip:___________

1. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:

2. Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers or sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____

3. Do you own or have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____

4. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? ____

5. Do you have a tattoo? ____

If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue
application and leave immediately.
6. In fifty words or less, what does Late mean to you?

7. In fifty words or less, what does Don't touch my daughter
mean to you?

8. In fifty words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you?

9. In fifty words or less, what does Real Pain mean to you?

10. Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
How often do you attend: ____________________________
11. When would be the best time to interview your mother, father
and priest/rabbi?__________________________

12. Please fill in the blanks:

a. If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want
wounded would be my ____________________________
b. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would
be my_____________________________

c. A woman's place is in the ____________________________
d. The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is
______________________________

e. When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her
first is______________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave
premises--keeping your head low and running in a serpentine
fashion is advised.
13. What do you want to be if you grow up?

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of
my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment,
torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________
Signature of father _____________________________________
Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________
Signature of State Representative _________________________

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual.

Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in
writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't
call me, I'll call you.

Creeping Death · Post by **Creeping Death** » July 9th, 2004, 11:03 am

HA HA!!!

You may think I am kidding, but my application process for dating my daughters is far more simple .......

The young man must be willing to remain alone with me in a locked room for a minimum of 15 minutes. If, after that 15 minutes, he still wishes to date my daughter, he may do so.

Kaley_B · Post by **Kaley_B** » July 9th, 2004, 11:56 am

DoorGunner wrote:Glad I had two boys.

You mean there is another one?

Chiron · Post by **Chiron** » July 9th, 2004, 11:57 am

Just for fun I got to 5 and had to stop. (two tattoos)

Good one.

RideGrrl · Post by **RideGrrl** » July 9th, 2004, 12:19 pm

LMAO... good joke, but the best part is that a substantial number of those questions sound strangely like my own dad's "interrogation process"...

Bugsy · Post by **Bugsy** » July 9th, 2004, 12:26 pm

Creeping Death wrote:HA HA!!!

You may think I am kidding, but my application process for dating my daughters is far more simple .......

The young man must be willing to remain alone with me in a locked room for a minimum of 15 minutes. If, after that 15 minutes, he still wishes to date my daughter, he may do so.

Hey CD I just got one thing to ask......... Just what are you "Really" doin to young boys in locked rooms, you didn't used to be a catholic priest did cha?

Chiron · Post by **Chiron** » July 9th, 2004, 12:32 pm

RideGrrl wrote:LMAO... good joke, but the best part is that a substantial number of those questions sound strangely like my own dad's "interrogation process"...

So your dad is a decent man trying to keep an eye on you. Nothing wrong with that. Remember to a father youâ€™re always a baby. (In a nice way)

Vee · Post by **Vee** » July 9th, 2004, 12:37 pm

RideGrrl wrote:LMAO... good joke, but the best part is that a substantial number of those questions sound strangely like my own dad's "interrogation process"...

Thanks for the warning!

Creeping Death · Post by **Creeping Death** » July 9th, 2004, 12:39 pm

BeadleBug wrote:
Creeping Death wrote:HA HA!!!

You may think I am kidding, but my application process for dating my daughters is far more simple .......

The young man must be willing to remain alone with me in a locked room for a minimum of 15 minutes. If, after that 15 minutes, he still wishes to date my daughter, he may do so.
Hey CD I just got one thing to ask......... Just what are you "Really" doin to young boys in locked rooms, you didn't used to be a catholic priest did cha?

Think again, my good friend. I'm a beach bum, not a turd batter.

The closed environment's purpose it to enable me to give the young man a glimpse of the Hell he will surely face if his intentions are not pure as the driven snow, while simultaneously preventing his premature escape. Sealing off of the objective, if you will.

Vee · Post by **Vee** » July 9th, 2004, 12:42 pm

Creeping Death wrote:
Think again, my good friend. I'm a beach bum, not a turd batter.

The closed environment's purpose it to enable me to give the young man a glimpse of the Hell he will surely face if his intentions are not pure as the driven snow, while simultaneously preventing his premature escape. Sealing off of the objective, if you will.

Okay. CD? look at the subliminal messages yer sending out here:

bum

turd

give young man hell

premature

You can't blame us for wondering, Bro..... :?

Creeping Death · Post by **Creeping Death** » July 9th, 2004, 12:51 pm

I can't help it if you Columbus boys equate every thought to homosexual tendancies ....... :?

Would it be better if I had stated in a public forum that my intent was to threaten to gut the young man like a day old fish and to nail his severed head on top of his parent's mailbox if he even thought about adding my little girl to his list of conquests? Is that better?

I worry about some of you guys at times. :?

Vee · Post by **Vee** » July 9th, 2004, 12:53 pm

Creeping Death wrote:I can't help it if you Columbus boys equate every thought to homosexual tendancies ....... :?

Would it be better if I had stated in a public forum that my intent was to threaten to gut the young man like a day old fish and to nail his severed head on top of his parent's mailbox if he even thought about adding my little girl to his list of conquests? Is that better?

I worry about some of you guys at times. :?

That's FUCKING PERFECT!!!!

Can I use that?

I want to print it up as a warning on my front door!

Creeping Death · Post by **Creeping Death** » July 9th, 2004, 12:58 pm

RideGrrl · Post by **RideGrrl** » July 9th, 2004, 1:07 pm

Pafsanias wrote: So your dad is a decent man trying to keep an eye on you. Nothing wrong with that. Remember to a father youâ€™re always a baby. (In a nice way)

Yep, to him I'll always be "Daddy's little girl". It's all good. My dad's cool.

V-Rod wrote: Thanks for the warning!

Better bust out the credentials Ranger V-Rod!

And I don't mean a resume.

ArmyRanger.com

Application to Date My Daughter

Application to Date My Daughter

Oh NO

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