is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I
have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell
you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as
bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll
even let YOU decide who leaves."
John thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Doukakis and a large
pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No!" John said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't
think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a
sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant
agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented John.
The devil opened a third door. In it, John saw Bill Clinton lying
naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she
does best.
John Kerry looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said.... "Monica, you're free to go!"