Retirement choices

[Ranger Ron]

You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3 . You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long
it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.

You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops
at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say 'the city' and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle
to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is 'nature,'
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes
you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that 'dry heat' is comparable to what hits you in the face when you
open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!

You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. 'y'all' is singular and 'all y'all' is plural.
3. 'He needed killin'' is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, etc.

You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: 'Where's my coat at?'
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, 'It was different!'

[CloakAndDagger]

You can live in Washington (State) where
1. Your raingear consists of a polo shirt, khaki shorts, and socks with sandals.
2. The majority vote of just one city overrides the majority vote of the rest of the state.
3. You recognize "Why did the salmon cross the road?" as a news report, not a children's joke.
4. Your environmentally-friendly state and local government highly encourages bicyling to work, yet provides no bicycle lanes.
5. Your environmentally-friendly local government encourages riding the bus to reduce fuel consumption, reduce CO2 emissions, and reduce traffic, yet the busses are 40 ft long, belch black smoke, and transport three passengers each.
6. The weatherman uses the term "partly sunny", but the weatherman is confused by the term "partly cloudy".
7. There are 4 seasons: Rainy, Not So Rainy, The Other Rainy, and Cold & Rainy.
8. You drive for 2 hours and encounter 4 very different seasons: Dry, Help--I Need Water!, The Other Dry, and Where The Hell Did All This Snow Come From? .

[RANGER513]

You can live in Washington (State) where
1. Your raingear consists of a polo shirt, khaki shorts, and socks with sandals.
2. The majority vote of just one city overrides the majority vote of the rest of the state.
3. You recognize "Why did the salmon cross the road?" as a news report, not a children's joke.
4. Your environmentally-friendly state and local government highly encourages bicyling to work, yet provides no bicycle lanes.
5. Your environmentally-friendly local government encourages riding the bus to reduce fuel consumption, reduce CO2 emissions, and reduce traffic, yet the busses are 40 ft long, belch black smoke, and transport three passengers each.
6. The weatherman uses the term "partly sunny", but the weatherman is confused by the term "partly cloudy".
7. There are 4 seasons: Rainy, Not So Rainy, The Other Rainy, and Cold & Rainy.
8. You drive for 2 hours and encounter 4 very different seasons: Dry, Help--I Need Water!, The Other Dry, and Where The Hell Did All This Snow Come From? .

9. You can shoot AND kill a cop, and don't have worry about the death penalty.

[KW Driver]

You can live in Washington (State) where
1. Your raingear consists of a polo shirt, khaki shorts, and socks with sandals.
2. The majority vote of just one city overrides the majority vote of the rest of the state.
3. You recognize "Why did the salmon cross the road?" as a news report, not a children's joke.
4. Your environmentally-friendly state and local government highly encourages bicyling to work, yet provides no bicycle lanes.
5. Your environmentally-friendly local government encourages riding the bus to reduce fuel consumption, reduce CO2 emissions, and reduce traffic, yet the busses are 40 ft long, belch black smoke, and transport three passengers each.
6. The weatherman uses the term "partly sunny", but the weatherman is confused by the term "partly cloudy".
7. There are 4 seasons: Rainy, Not So Rainy, The Other Rainy, and Cold & Rainy.
8. You drive for 2 hours and encounter 4 very different seasons: Dry, Help--I Need Water!, The Other Dry, and Where The Hell Did All This Snow Come From? .

9. You can shoot AND kill a cop, and don't have worry about the death penalty.

10. Where Grand Theft Auto in any other state is called possession of stolen property, and can't be bothered to rate a felony, if they even bother to pursue a case.