TFLN (Strong Language)

[Oto-Man]

From the Texts from last night website:

(914): i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

(814): i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.

(334): Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.

(954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
(904): Both

(907): scale of 1-10 how well do I give head?
(1-907): 5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7..... ish.

(816): About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.

(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

[Invictus]

From the Texts from last night website:

(914): i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

(814): i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.

(334): fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.

(954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
(904): Both

(907): scale of 1-10 how well do I give head?
(1-907): 5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7..... ish.

(816): About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.

(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

Beautiful!

Where did you find these?

[Oto-Man]

From the Texts from last night website:

(914): i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

(814): i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.

(334): fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.

(954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
(904): Both

(907): scale of 1-10 how well do I give head?
(1-907): 5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7..... ish.

(816): About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.

(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

Beautiful!

Where did you find these?

Textsfromlastnight.com

It's funnier than shit.....

GSXR had posted one on FB, and I hadn't gone up there for a while.

[IDon'tCare]

From the Texts from last night website:

(914): i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

(814): i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.

(334): fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.

(954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
(904): Both

(907): scale of 1-10 how well do I give head?
(1-907): 5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7..... ish.

(816): About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.

(909): I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him

Beautiful!

Where did you find these?

http://forum.armyranger.com/viewtopic.php?f=33&t=47931" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[SupplyRanger]

(850): It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking

[abnhawk]

(402): Chicken burrito, or no deal.
(1-402): Is that code for my vagina?
(402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

[KW Driver]

(714): Ikea night.
(949): ?
(714): Insert tab A into swedish slot B