When girls don't put out......

Ford375 · Post by **Ford375** » October 13th, 2007, 12:42 am

Just read this off of a myspace bulletin, pretty funny!

------------------------

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing,
or why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis. LOL

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
witch knows I'm smarter than her.

RTO · Post by **RTO** » October 13th, 2007, 12:46 am

Printed.......

RANGER513 · Post by **RANGER513** » October 13th, 2007, 6:36 am

Now that's funny right there !

+

Tirehouse · Post by **Tirehouse** » October 13th, 2007, 9:51 pm

Damn right fuck that cunt!!!!!!!!!

ANGRYCivilian · Post by **ANGRYCivilian** » October 17th, 2007, 11:41 am

Tirehouse wrote:Damn right fuck that cunt!!!!!!!!!

Amen. (In my most-Pinhead-like voice)

EvilCouch · Post by **EvilCouch** » October 17th, 2007, 8:44 pm

Booyah!

Chiron · Post by **Chiron** » October 18th, 2007, 6:24 am

:D

Rock Island Ranger · October 18th, 2007, 8:08 am

Been there, seen that. 30 years of marriage has taught me many things. Like early on when my wife would say, I just want to cuddle. And I would say, can I at least fuck you while we cuddle? That got me 2 weeks of no wet ones. And once when SHE wanted to do the nasty and I said, I just want to be held.....she said fine! I couldmnt hold out so she used me. I was so hurt.

NOT!

Lucky · Post by **Lucky** » October 18th, 2007, 8:48 pm

That woman was OWNED. If your SO ever says she has a headache, just volunteer to sprinkle aspirin on your dick. It has to work.