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Squigly · Post by **Squigly** » May 17th, 2004, 12:11 pm

My mom doesnt want me to join but now that ive passed the phyical she knows im going. She is making me take the SATs and apply to 3 colleges. It could be wrose.

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » May 17th, 2004, 2:54 pm

Quigs wrote:My mom doesnt want me to join but now that ive passed the phyical she knows im going. She is making me take the SATs and apply to 3 colleges. It could be wrose.

Take the SAT's while the knowledge is still fresh in your mind. Score well. After you have completed your service you may be ready to attend college and get the school you want to boot, paid for by Uncle Sam.

RideGrrl · Post by **RideGrrl** » May 17th, 2004, 3:09 pm

I'm a little late with this comment, but I can relate a little here. I'm not enlisting, but when I chose the path I did (general contracting, riding professionally, and starting an equestrian business), I became a black sheep in my entire family, save for my dad and grandma on his side. The expectation was simply that because I had the grades/scholarships, I would go to university and become a teacher or nurse, or something equally normal within the family.

Long story short, it's a rougher road when you don't have a lot of backing, but I think as long as you know that what you're doing is right, and worthwhile, then the rest doesn't matter as much. My objective is to be able to look back on my life when I'm 90 and say proudly, "yeah, I did that." ... and having done it of my own accord, and without a cheering section, just might make it that much more satisfying.

Runner · Post by **Runner** » May 17th, 2004, 3:44 pm

I agree with what a lot of you are saying, but now that I think about it, the military is sort of a family tradition (Dad was in 82nd, Grandfather was combat engineer). The only reason I don't have support is because my parents are afraid to let me go put my life in the Army's hands, and my granparents "don't like what the army is doing over there". Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, they don't want me to, but know I will just out of tradition.

As Ridegrrl said, I want to look back and be proud, and I want my kids to be proud. I never want to regret not doing something.

Thanks,
Malarkey

Ranger Hopps · Post by **Ranger Hopps** » May 17th, 2004, 5:29 pm

Malarky, i remember seeing your pick, your a sophmore right?! In your pics you look young. I doubt your parents even want to think about you leaving home yet, give it a year or two, and you will mature more. Your parents will see this and if it is still your choice to join at that time, i'm sure they will be more understanding and accepting of it.

Hopps

Andy · Post by **Andy** » May 17th, 2004, 6:46 pm

I am in a very similar situation. My parents are willing to enlist anyone they can ( grandparents, co-workers, friends, anyone) to convince me to not join before going to college. They would pay for all my college, any where I would want to go, but thats not what I want. My dad said he would fight me untill the day I signed, and then he would say "I told you so" if I ever bitched about the Army. I dont think it really matters, seeing that it is my decesion and all, but I would like to convince them just so I could go DEP in a few months.

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » May 17th, 2004, 7:14 pm

I just came from your house Malarkey and I spoke to your parents. Your mom wants you to be a Doctor and your dad wants you to be an Airborne Officer. So eventually Malarkey you just may become the Airborne Doctor.

IntelToad · Post by **IntelToad** » May 18th, 2004, 3:27 pm

My two cents.

My mom was highly pissed when I joined. I was 17 so my parents had to sign off. My mom, in a fit of Irish anger, threw the pen at the recruiter and walked out of the room. My dad, a Marine veteran, just smiled and shook his head.

It's only natural for your parents to be worried. I look at my 4 year old son and wonder how I would feel about him signing up someday.

My mom eventually was happy that I joined the service. I think she realized how it benefited me.

Your mom is upset because she is upset and because you are becoming a man and making choices of your own. Someday, God willing, you will have a son and be just as worried about him.

Steadfast · Post by **Steadfast** » May 18th, 2004, 3:55 pm

EarthPig wrote:It's only natural for a parent to coddle their offspring. No one wants to think that their son or daughter might be placing their life in jeopardy. I think that to a certain degree, we have all faced a bit of what you are facing.

My parents thought it was ridiculous that I wanted to enlist. I explained my views and reminded them that I was a man (I was almost 31 at the time) and would choose my own life-path. Granted, my age probably had a lot to do with the outcome.

To this day, my mother (and father) are quick to point out to others that their son was an Army Ranger. After the fact, they were extremely proud. Additionally, my parents are not liberals (thank God!), so I didn't have to deal with the whole anti-war scenario.

The only advice I can give you guys who are facing this is: follow your heart. If you truly feel that enlisting will be a bad move, don't do it. If you honestly feel (as I did) that your life will never be complete unless you enlist, then grab your sack and jump. Just make damned sure that you don't fail. If you quit or get the boot, you will have lost twice: once with your family and once with your goals.

RLTW
EP

Wow EP reading what your mom and your dad being proud of you for your service as a Ranger has made me remember certain facts I kept hidden from my family. My mother suffered from a heart defect that caused her to be short of breath from a childhood illness she suffered though at the tender age of 6. Since my mon was born in 1924, that meant her illness was in 1930. That was almost a century ago. I never told my mom I was drafted into 11B. My old man knew I went Airborne as I gave him my field jacket before I went to RVN. It had my wings, his name and the bright red 82nd Patch on it. My father was born in 1918. My father was proud to wear my field jacket. My mom, I keep anything I did to mingling with the guys, realaxization clothing I would be wearing. I avoided pictures of how I generally packed for a mission, carry weapons, showing weapons. Showing dead enemy in pictures, etc. I went out of my way to show her I was having a good time. I lied to her. I never wanted her to worry. I never wanted to be responsible for her death. She did die but it was from Cancer in 1971, not of a bad heart. I never regretted not telling my family. My brother whom I am very proud of knows some. I returned back to sharing my bedroom with my brother. It was he that told me I was having nightmares in my sleep. One evening my own yelling woke me up as I was holding an imaginary M-16 in my hands, sitting up in bed. Screaming at the top of my lungs (I remember this one) " shoot the mother fucker's. Over there, in the bushes." That was one hellova a way to wake from a dream in a fighting position. My brother told me I was yelling in my sleep practically every night. saying, "Shoot them or kill those mutha fuckers"

Neutron · Post by **Neutron** » May 23rd, 2004, 2:19 am

I've got semi support from my family on my decision. I've wanted to be a Ranger since I was probably 7 years old, and everybody though it was cute when I was little, but now that I tell them that I leave on the 23rd of next month, everybody is a little skittish.

My mother has been having dreams for the past 3 months about my death in the military (and truthfully, I'm a momma's boy, I'd go to the end of the earth and back to see that she was safe and happy, and thats part of the reason I enlisted), my dad is proud of what I'm doing, although he thinks I'm going to fail. My grandfather (on my moms side) was in the 1st ID back in the day, he's proud. Most of my friends think I'm crazy because of my test scores (35 on the act, 1330 on the sat) but I chose, and still am EXTREMELY proud of my decision, to join up like I wanted to do since I was a kid, and TRY to become a Ranger.

Also (this is kinda personal, but I feel comfortable sharing on the board) I broke up with my GF over my enlistment! This is coming from a guy who never really had the heart to committ to a serious relationship, yet, I fell in love with this girl, and we dated for over a year. Now, that I'm leaving in a month, we broke up to help our "transition" into our new lifestyles.

I love Maria. She's a democrat (yuck!), going to college to study political science with the intention of being elected into office someday (HofReps, Senate..), and she's an amazing girl. She got me into my religion (I'm getting baptized next sunday), overall, she saved my life, I probably would have never made it this far without her inspiration, guidance, and support. Leaving is hard for me, but I believe that every bit of effort I put into my military career (wherever it may lead me) will keep her safe, and keep my family safe, and to preserve that safety, I'd give anything. She doesn't support the war, but she supports me. And if I have to kill a thousand terrorists, or give my life, to keep them safe, so be it.

I'm sure one of you Rangers have something that will relate to this, I'd like to hear it. I'm calling my mentor (Ranger Luna) about it tommorow. I'd appreciate your input as well.

LEVI

Phulano · Post by **Phulano** » May 26th, 2004, 10:47 am

I am very lucky to have the full support of my family and friends. I have lived away from home for the past 6 years, so their support or lack of support would not have changed my decision, but its nice when everyone understands and respects your decision.

In the begining when I started floating the idea of enlistment (age 17), it didnt go over well. My parents wouldent sign a waiver to let me join the Marines. OK. No prob. I planned on enlisting when I was 18, but didnt end up enlisting in the Army until recently (age 22).

Anyway.. I found that once my parents saw that I had matured from where I was when I was 17, and now understand my reasons for joining the Army I have their full support. I would suggest talking to then more and explain not only what job you want to do, but why its so important to you to serve. This may help.

Creeping Death · Post by **Creeping Death** » May 26th, 2004, 11:22 am

I was 21 when I signed. I didn't give my parents any warning. I just came home and told them I had signed up to become a Ranger. Mom wasn't happy, but she didn't say a whole lot.

When I got deployed, they spent nearly every waking moment in front of the TV watching the news trying to get information. It was hard on them. But the didn't hesitate to tell everyone what their son did for a living. It made them proud.

It's normal for your parents to not be happy about their children potentially putting themselves in harms way. Just do what you have to do. It is an honorable goal to serve one's country. It's your life. Live it.

Runner · Post by **Runner** » May 26th, 2004, 12:13 pm

Thanks Ranger Creeping Death, it's good advice and it'll definately help. I guess in the end it doesn't really matter what they want, as you said, it's my life.

Malarkey