The funny things kids say.....Part 2

[SkyShark]

I had a neighbor who was like a grandpa to my kids when they were younger. He got cancer and died, and naturally we all went to the funeral.
So we're sitting in the chapel before the service starts, and my younger son who was 5 at the time is sitting next to me looking around.
He spots a huge painting of The Crucifixion on the wall. I notice him staring wide-eyed at Jesus with the blood streaming down his face, hands and feet, and I just knew he was going to say something. Before I could stop him, he points and yells out really fucking loudly, "JESUS CHRIST, WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GUY" !!!

THAT is fucking funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LLUbetterhalf]

I got this in an e-mail

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go. He said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos
laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

[SmileyTFJ]

My daughter's teacher recently relayed to me the funniest moment of the year so far (which was also the most amazing because it rendered my daughter absolutely speechless).

One of the boys in her class is of Greek descent and his parents started teaching him Greek this year. My daughter was sitting in one of the centers when the boy slides up to her, looks her in the eye, and says softly: "Wanna hear some Greek?" My daughter's response was to stare dumbfounded at him as if he was speaking in Greek. Her teacher said it was the best pick up line she's ever heard in Kindergarten!

[Ranger175csar]

Damn Scuba.. wheres the mask and snorkel????