Miscommunications

[RBL_M1A2Tanker]

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting.

"How are we faring?" asks the king.

"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."

"What?!?" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"

"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."

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“Where am I? How did I get here? Why does my head hurt?"

"You're in a hospital, sir. I'm with the police. We weren't sure you were going to wake up. You had a golf club wrapped around your neck. Just tell us everything you remember."

"Well, I was teaching my wife golf. Of course, I won every hole. But on the little par 3, 17th hole, we both hit right to the green, and we both putted right to the pin.

When I walked to the flag, I saw one putt had overshot, but the other ball had apparently sunk. I didn't know whose it was, so I pulled the flag, looked in, saw it was her Spalding in there, and I said; 'Looks like your hole, dear.' That was the last thing I remember..."

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Little Johnny and the Salesman
A salesman rang the door bell and little Johnny answered. The salesman
asked if his father was at home.

Johnny said, "Yes."

The salesman said, "Well, can I see him please?"

Johnny snickered a and said, "No, he is in the shower."

Then the salesman asked if his mother was at home.

Johnny said, "Yes."

The salesman said, "Well can I see her?"

Johnny snickered again and said, "No, she's in the shower too."

The salesman then asked, "Do you think they will be out soon?"

Johnny laughed this time and said "No."

The salesman asked, "Why?"

"Well", Johnny said, "when my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him
some Super Glue."

[EvilCouch]

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting.

"How are we faring?" asks the king.

"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."

"What?!?" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"

"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."

Ha!