Parrot w/o Legs...

[Brooks]

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a
>>>little
>>> perch.
>>> It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I
>>>wonder
>>> what
>>> happened to this parrot?"
>>>
>>>
>>> The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
>>>
>>> "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and
>>>answered
>>> me!"
>>>
>>> "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
>>> intelligent
>>> thoroughly educated bird."
>>>
>>> "Oh yeah! ?" the guy asks, "Then answer this-how do you hang
>>>onto your
>>> perch
>>> without any feet?"
>>>
>>> "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since
>>>you
>>> asked,
>>> I
>>> wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You
>>>can't
>>> see
>>> it
>>> because of my feathers."
>>>
>>> "Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak
>>>English
>>> can't
>>> you?"
>>>
>>> "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse
>>>with
>>> reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
>>>sports,
>>> physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You
>>>really
>>> ought to
>>> buy me. I'd be a great companion."
>>>
>>> The guy looks at the $20000 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't
>>>afford
>>> that."
>>>
>>> "Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is,
>>>nobody
>>> wants
>>> me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for
>>>$20; just
>>> make
>>> the guy an offer!"
>>>
>>> The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
>>>
>>> Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
>>>humor,
>>> he's
>>> interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
>>> sympathizes,
>>> and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
>>>
>>> One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
>>> "Psssssssssssst,"
>>> and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should
>>>tell you
>>> this
>>> or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
>>>
>>> "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
>>>
>>> "When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted
>>>him at
>>> the
>>> door in a sheer black nightie."
>>>
>>> "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
>>>
>>> "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her
>>>nightie
>>> and
>>> began petting her all over," reported the parrot.
>>>
>>> "NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"
>>>
>>> "Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on
>>>his
>>> knees
>>> and
>>> began to kiss her all over...."
>>>
>>> Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
>>>
>>> "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
>>>
>>> <~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Chiron]