Riddle me this:

RTO · Post by **RTO** » September 29th, 2005, 8:00 am

AbnRgr289 wrote:
RTO wrote:
SmileyTFJ wrote:

Or another Redneck classic: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer!
YES, We have a winner!!!! WOOHOO!!!

Great Granpa, what did you win? a mess that will be difficult to clean up!!!
Hey, thats no fair, I detect a little insider trading going on here!

Ahh, I wont say what I was actually thinking about the "insider" part!

Nope, none at all. Smiley is a smartie. She doesn't need any riddle help!!

um....you didn't need to now, You just did!

AbnRgr289 · Post by **AbnRgr289** » September 29th, 2005, 11:54 am

RTO wrote:
AbnRgr289 wrote:
Terry Welshan wrote:Why do you think he was rubbin one out ?
Because Great Grandma had arthritis of the pelvis!

That's really a 'lame' excuse!!!!

Ya', actually it is.

She could have just taken her teeth out!!!

centermass · Post by **centermass** » September 29th, 2005, 11:59 am

AbnRgr289 wrote:
RTO wrote:
AbnRgr289 wrote: Because Great Grandma had arthritis of the pelvis!

That's really a 'lame' excuse!!!!
Ya', actually it is.

She could have just taken her teeth out!!!

Like I said,

ya'll some gross mofo's

I like that...........

centermass · Post by **centermass** » September 29th, 2005, 12:25 pm

All right.

Job posting appears and states:

Wanted

Executive Assistant to the Chief Operating Officer for Business and Finance, Off Shore Holdings Division

Must be versed and skilled in multi dimensional areas, exceptional transcriptional skills, Math Major, bi-lingual and familiar with spread sheet applications and various data base formats.

Several women apply for the position.

All are interviewed.

The COO is a member of MENSA and no slouch on his staff lacking apptitude.

3 finalists are selected for the position.

Each one is given the following scenario:

Diversified investments are growing in number due to significant high risk yield holdings not returning forecasted results.

As a designated agent for this companies clientele, your are given a portfolio of stocks, bonds and capital holding net wothed in excess of 100,000.00.

You have one month in which to generate the growth of this portfolio by at least 22%. Using conventional and unconventional formulas and price indexing and taking into account the current market which has remained flat.

Using the outlined parameters just given, you now have 30 minutes in which to formulate a sound strategy taking into account market growth of 7 and a half percent plus a rising yield index of 5 and a quarter percent.

At the end of the day, all the applications are reviewed along with the results of the test.

All 3 applicants have the exact same educational backgrounds, all possess the same required skills, all are the exact same age and all have the exact same answers on the portfolio exercise.

The COO can only choose one applicant.

Q. Which one does he choose?

Note: Be prepared to justify your answer.

Rock Island Ranger · September 29th, 2005, 12:43 pm

The one with the biggest tits.

centermass · Post by **centermass** » September 29th, 2005, 12:49 pm

Abell9 wrote:The one with the biggest tits.

Fucking figures you would be the first to solve it.

I ain't typing any more riddles unless someone else lets me have my fun for at least, let's say 10 minutes.

SkyShark · Post by **SkyShark** » September 29th, 2005, 1:43 pm

The man who makes it, has no need of it.

The man who buys it, buys it not for himself.

The man who uses it, is not aware of it.

Daisey · Post by **Daisey** » September 29th, 2005, 1:47 pm

SkyShark wrote:The man who makes it, has no need of it.

The man who buys it, buys it not for himself.

The man who uses it, is not aware of it.

A coffin!!

RTO · Post by **RTO** » September 29th, 2005, 2:34 pm

Abell9 wrote:The one with the biggest tits.

This one?

AFPhil · Post by **AFPhil** » September 29th, 2005, 11:07 pm

4. GGROBAR

Grandma got run over by a reigndeer

RTO · Post by **RTO** » September 30th, 2005, 10:39 am

AFPhil wrote:
4. GGROBAR
Grandma got run over by a reigndeer

Good job!!! :D DAY LATE AND A DOLLAR SHORT, BUD, but still......good!!!

SmileyTFJ wrote:
Or another Redneck classic: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer!

centermass · Post by **centermass** » September 30th, 2005, 4:26 pm

RTO wrote:
Abell9 wrote:The one with the biggest tits.

This one?

Looks like my new recliner just arrived!

289sotherhalf · Post by **289sotherhalf** » November 3rd, 2005, 8:43 pm

It has no top or bottom
but it can hold flesh, bones and blood all at the same time.
What is this object?

AbnRgr289 · Post by **AbnRgr289** » November 6th, 2005, 9:06 pm

289sotherhalf wrote:It has no top or bottom
but it can hold flesh, bones and blood all at the same time.
What is this object?

Alright, alright, everybody hush up a minute, I know the answer.......

It's a Dick!

It has no top, it has a head!

It has no bottom, it has a base!

It has no sides, it has a shaft!

And it holds flesh, bone, and blood!!!

Before you say anything, I know it has no bone, but it is a "Boner!!!" :D :D

289sotherhalf · Post by **289sotherhalf** » November 7th, 2005, 5:50 am

AbnRgr289 wrote:
289sotherhalf wrote:It has no top or bottom
but it can hold flesh, bones and blood all at the same time.
What is this object?
Alright, alright, everybody hush up a minute, I know the answer.......

It's a Dick!

It has no top, it has a head!

It has no bottom, it has a base!

It has no sides, it has a shaft!

And it holds flesh, bone, and blood!!!

Before you say anything, I know it has no bone, but it is a "Boner!!!" :D :D

Bwhahahaha!!!!

Not quite, but good guess.........

!