How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place
to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with
"A man once told me..."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There's a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough
to build up pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course.
At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
All wives are alike,
but they have different faces
so you can tell them apart.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told!
RS Class 5-82
French Commando 11-83
LRSLC Class 5-87
U.S. Army 1980-1984 and 1987-1990
--------- “Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.”
George S. Patton
2/75 C Co. 81-84
Ranger Class 14-82
"Cry Havoc Let Slip The Dogs of War"
1st SPWAR Tng Bn (Abn) USAJFKSWCS 87'
RLTW !
Mentor to J.P. Deepwater
RIP Class 02-07
Ranger Class 09-07
Good call!! Right under the heading "Things men say that deserve a swift kick in the ass, loss of beer vouchers, or revokation of all sexual privileges".
