It's old. I like to read it again and again!

[Chiron]

Anchors Dan Rather, Peter Jennings and NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts,
along with one Army Ranger assigned to protect them were hiking through
the Iraq desert one day when they were captured by insurgents.
They were tied up, led to a village, and brought before the leader.

The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting
the condemned a last wish so, before we kill and dismember you, do you
have any last requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan so I'd like one last bowl of hot
spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned
with the chili. Rather ate it all and sa id, "Now I can die content."

Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song 'O
Canada' one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had
studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some
rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared
he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.
Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till
the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder
and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die
happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. Ranger, what is your
final wish?" "Kick me in the ass," said the Ranger.

"What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the
Ranger. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Ranger went sprawling, rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside
his cammies and shot the leader dead.
In the resulting
confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and
sprayed the rest of the Insurgents with gunfire. In a flash, all of
them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Ranger was untying Rather, Jennings and Roberts, they asked
him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you
in the ass?" "What," replied the Ranger, "and have you three assholes
call me the aggressor?"