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ANGRYCivilian
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Post by ANGRYCivilian »

Fuckin' South Park. :D

"I'm not just sure, Butters, I'm HIV positive."
St Barbara's Bastards
82C1P

"Parole officer says I gotta upgrade, or he won't give me back my stabbin' knife!"~Roberto
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RTO
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Post by RTO »

Zonk 1/75 wrote:Image
8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)
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scubask
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Post by scubask »

Was watching TV tonight...
Viagra (and other Viagra-like pills) commercials on TV say to seek medical attention if you have an erection lasting 4 hours or longer.

My thoughts are, who wouldn't want an erection lasting shorter than that? :lol:
USMA 1996-2000
3/2 ID 2001-2003, 2005
3/1 SFG(A) 2003-2004
OIF 2004
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RTO
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Post by RTO »

scubask wrote:Was watching TV tonight...
Viagra (and other Viagra-like pills) commercials on TV say to seek medical attention if you have an erection lasting 4 hours or longer.

My thoughts are, who wouldn't want an erection lasting shorter than that? :lol:
The Wife, that's who....




This is the private diary of a Viagra wife...... :D 8) :twisted:

Day 1: Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2: Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.

Day 3: This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst into tears.

Day 4: A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his "problem." It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things would be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5: What absolute bliss!!!

Day 6: Life is wonderful, but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.

Day 7: This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, I have to admit it's very nice -- I don't think I've ever been so happy.

Day 8: I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed whacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.

Day 9: No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10: Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with whiskey!

What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over.....


Day 11: I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt.

He's a complete pig.

Day 12: I wish he were gay. I've stopped wearing makeup, brushing my teeth or even washing, but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous.......

Day 13: Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the jerk.

Day 14: I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him hornier.



Day 15: I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go screw himself and he did.

Day 16: The jerk has started to complain about headaches!!!

I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.

Day 17: I switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference...

Oh no! Here he comes again...

Day 18: He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!
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Jenny Lynn
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Post by Jenny Lynn »

Where oh where do they celebrate Dyngus Day in WA State.
Jenny
"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.” Galileo Galilei

"If our lives are endangered by plots or violence or armed robbers or enemies, any and every method of protecting ourselves is morally right” Marcus Tullius Cicero

"By special Pastoral appointment."
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RANGER513
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Joined: September 2nd, 2006, 4:38 am

Post by RANGER513 »

Last night's conversation:

Me: " How much have you had to drink tonight, Ma'am ? "

Drunk female driver: " Too much. "

Me: " Where do you think you are right now ? "

Drunk female driver: " Wish I was alone with you ! "

Me: " Your occupation ? "

Drunk female driver: " I teach driver's ed at the high school. "

:shock: :shock: :shock:








....and no, she was NOT hot.
C Co 2/75
1986 - 1992
RS Class 9-87

RLTW



" The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena............ "
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RTO
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Post by RTO »

Jenny Lynn wrote:Where oh where do they celebrate Dyngus Day in WA State.
It looks like this might be as close as you gunna get this year Jenny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArOk1ohZjRw
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Bravo57
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Post by Bravo57 »

What happens to the rest of the Spam animal once they put them in the can? Poor little guy lost his head, tail and all four legs. :cry: And then they shave him.
B Co. FIST 3/75 Rgr Rgt.
1991-2000
RS 9-92
Task Force Ranger 1993


For those who fight for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know.
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RTO
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Post by RTO »

Bravo57 wrote:What happens to the rest of the Spam animal once they put them in the can? Poor little guy lost his head, tail and all four legs. :cry: And then they shave him.
You might try lookingHERE <----- for answers.....
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Darksaga
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Joined: June 30th, 2005, 9:16 am

Post by Darksaga »

So I get a pass to go visit the family over the holiday. So far there has been lots of hugs and kisses and violence. My near 4 year old daughter decided to wake me from a nap by kicking me in the family jewels and a short while later my 17 month old son decides to show affection by head butting me in the teeth. All the while the wife comes down with a bad case of hives. All in all it still beats work! 8)
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Henery Louis Mencken (1880-1956)

"I might not be Airborne however, it's whats on my right sleave!"
*1992-1996 USMC CPL
* 12/2005- present USAR Medic PL/ Human Terrain Teams
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LEROY
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Joined: December 4th, 2007, 8:42 am

Post by LEROY »

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
H Co 121st LRS 00-14
RS Class 07-09
ARNG-WTC Schools NCO
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Rock Island Ranger
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Joined: February 8th, 2004, 10:00 pm

Post by Rock Island Ranger »

LEROY wrote:It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
So it it takes 50 muscles to do both....I can afford the effort.
RS Class # 7-76

I'm not the way I am because I was a Ranger - I was a Ranger because of the way I am.

¿Querría usted el primer redondo en la rodilla o la cara?

The road goes on forever and the party never ends.
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