The chicken...

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Maggot275
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The chicken...

Post by Maggot275 »

Sorry if this has been posted, it's old but good...

Farmer Bill was looking to buy a rooster for his mess of hens he had and came upon a sign stating "Free rooster." So he pulls in and sees the biggest most ornery rooster he has ever laid eyes on tied to a post.

"Why is this rooster free? What's wrong with him?" he asks the other farmer.

"Well" says the one farmer. "There ain't nothin' wrong with him other than he is a fucking machine. That's all he does."

The Bill says "This is just what I need. I haven't had eggs in months. I'll take him" And loads him in a crate and takes him home. And as soon as Bill gets home and takes the rooster out of the crate, the rooster runs right into the chicken coop and gets to work. Bill stands and listens to the wild clucking and squawking and sees the mass of feathers flying out of the door and windows. "Good deal" Bill thinks and goes to bed.

The next morining, Bill goes into the coop and finds more eggs than he knows what to do with but no rooster. So Bill carries on with his chores and goes into the barn to milk the cows. There he finds the rooster giving it to the heffers in their stalls.

"Mr. Rooster you are going to fuck yerself to death." says Bill

"Naw don't worry about me." said the rooster as he goes from one cow to the next.

The very next morning, Bill goes back to the chicken coop and again finds a mess of eggs more than he can handle, but no rooster. Bill then goes to the barn and sees the cows with white feathers all over the place but no rooster. So Bill heads out to the pigpen to slop the hogs and there is the rooster going to town on all the sows.

"Mr. Rooster, you keep this up and you will fuck yerself to death."

"Naw" says the rooster "you don't worry about me Mr. Farmer."

The third morning, Bill wakes up and finds the coop full of eggs again with no rooster in sight. He enters the barn, feathers but no rooster. He slops the hogs, again feathers and no rooster. Bill looks around and scratches his head. "Where the hell did he go?" Just then he sees vultures circling out in the hay field. Bill walks out and finds his rooster, flat on his back, eyes closed, tongue hanging out dead.

"Well Mr. Rooster, I told ya, you done fucked yerself to death." Bill said shaking his head.

The rooster opens an eye and says to the farmer "Shut up and get the hell out of here! They are getting ready to land."
Attack CO 2/75 01/94-12/98
Ranger Class 08-95

I then asked the Lord: "Why was there only one set of footprints?"
He answered: "The terrain was beginning to constrict and our hit time was coming close. So I put us in a Ranger file."

VII
XXII
MMV

Chiron
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Post by Chiron »

:lol: :lol:
RS Class 5-82
French Commando 11-83
LRSLC Class 5-87
U.S. Army 1980-1984 and 1987-1990
---------
“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.”
George S. Patton

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Steadfast
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Post by Steadfast »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
RLTW
Steadfast

4/325 82d DIV 68-69
2nd Bde HHC (LRRP), 4 ID
K Co (Rgr), 75th Inf (Abn), 4 ID
69-70
I cooked with C- 4

Rock Island Ranger
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Post by Rock Island Ranger »

A roosetr talked?????
RS Class # 7-76

I'm not the way I am because I was a Ranger - I was a Ranger because of the way I am.

¿Querría usted el primer redondo en la rodilla o la cara?

The road goes on forever and the party never ends.

Gordo173
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Post by Gordo173 »

Farmer should have checked that roosters right shoulder. seems to me he got himself a Ranger Cock!
Wpns/C/2-75(INF)(RGR)(ABN)
1/1/C/2-75(INF)(RGR)(ABN)
C,HHC,D/3-6(INF)(Mech)
HHC/2-504 PIR
A/1-504 PIR
HHC/1-82(ABN)
Oopps almost forgot Class 4-84

"Always with the negative waves Moriarity!"

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