Interesting Headlines

[Chiron]

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[ what a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough the first time?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[that's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[definitely worthy of a headline!]

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
[that was really giving of himself!]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[boy, are they tall!]

And the winner....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[I certainly hope so!]

[Ardent Lady]

:)