Because I care about all of you old guys out there, I wanted to make sure that you knew about the robots that will eat your medicine for fuel.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/seattlesque/76624.html
...and courtesy of the SNL Transcripts Site (featuring 2,334 transcripts from "Saturday Night Live"
!), the Old Glory Insurance ad:
Old Lady #1: When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company said his policy didn't cover him.
Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music..
Old Lady #1: What about the robots?
Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.
Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.
Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.
[ cut to Sam Waterston, Compensated Endorser ]
Sam Waterson: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular TV series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration.
[ SUPER: Limited Benefits First Two Years ]
You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time.
[ show pie chart reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ]
And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free.. because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of crime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice.
[SUPER: "WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves. ]
Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.
This has always been one of my favorite skits done on SNL.
For all you old farts.....you know who you are.
Moderator: Site Admin
For all you old farts.....you know who you are.
I was in 2/75 from 97 to 00. 5-99
"He only loved people, he thought, who had fought or been mutilated. Other people were fine and you liked them and were good friends; but you only felt true tenderness and love for those who had been there and had received the castigation that everyone receives who goes there long enough." Ernest Hemingway
"He only loved people, he thought, who had fought or been mutilated. Other people were fine and you liked them and were good friends; but you only felt true tenderness and love for those who had been there and had received the castigation that everyone receives who goes there long enough." Ernest Hemingway
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Rock Island Ranger
- Ranger
- Posts: 10935
- Joined: February 8th, 2004, 10:00 pm
Dublo, we like ya brother, no shit...big fan club of yours but it's time for ya to go fuck yerself... 
RS Class # 7-76
I'm not the way I am because I was a Ranger - I was a Ranger because of the way I am.
¿Querría usted el primer redondo en la rodilla o la cara?
The road goes on forever and the party never ends.
I'm not the way I am because I was a Ranger - I was a Ranger because of the way I am.
¿Querría usted el primer redondo en la rodilla o la cara?
The road goes on forever and the party never ends.
Ah Grasshopper! Confusious say FUCK YOU! 
C 2/75, 1st Plt, Wpns Sqd 76-79
RS 3-78
Mattoon's Goons
A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve --
is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life.'
RS 3-78
Mattoon's Goons
A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve --
is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life.'
Ha Ha Ha, I got one of those new fangled remote control gadgets in that box of cereal. Out on my rocker in front of the house I sit for hours with my remote. Each time a robot comes into range of my remote I have the robot make a left or right turn into the street when ever a bus is speeding passing by piloted by another robot. Then the good shit starts. An investigation begins and robots descend on my block. Eventually the defunct robot is swept away and taken back to reclaimation and the bus driver is replaced with a new model robot. The block returns to normal and I await for the next robot. Simple to lure them by tossing a St. Joseph's asprin out towards the curb.
RLTW
Steadfast
4/325 82d DIV 68-69
2nd Bde HHC (LRRP), 4 ID
K Co (Rgr), 75th Inf (Abn), 4 ID
69-70
I cooked with C- 4
Steadfast
4/325 82d DIV 68-69
2nd Bde HHC (LRRP), 4 ID
K Co (Rgr), 75th Inf (Abn), 4 ID
69-70
I cooked with C- 4
Yeah.....Y'all knew who you were. :D :D
You guys really are the shit.
You guys really are the shit.
I was in 2/75 from 97 to 00. 5-99
"He only loved people, he thought, who had fought or been mutilated. Other people were fine and you liked them and were good friends; but you only felt true tenderness and love for those who had been there and had received the castigation that everyone receives who goes there long enough." Ernest Hemingway
"He only loved people, he thought, who had fought or been mutilated. Other people were fine and you liked them and were good friends; but you only felt true tenderness and love for those who had been there and had received the castigation that everyone receives who goes there long enough." Ernest Hemingway
Terry Welshan wrote:I got your "metal one"
Metal what.....Hip or Knee???? :D :D :D :D
I was in 2/75 from 97 to 00. 5-99
"He only loved people, he thought, who had fought or been mutilated. Other people were fine and you liked them and were good friends; but you only felt true tenderness and love for those who had been there and had received the castigation that everyone receives who goes there long enough." Ernest Hemingway
"He only loved people, he thought, who had fought or been mutilated. Other people were fine and you liked them and were good friends; but you only felt true tenderness and love for those who had been there and had received the castigation that everyone receives who goes there long enough." Ernest Hemingway
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502in62
Spartan wrote:Seems like all the old fuckers bit hard.
Come on now Spartan, if they had bitten very hard there would be dentures lying all over the place. :D :D :D :D
I was in 2/75 from 97 to 00. 5-99
"He only loved people, he thought, who had fought or been mutilated. Other people were fine and you liked them and were good friends; but you only felt true tenderness and love for those who had been there and had received the castigation that everyone receives who goes there long enough." Ernest Hemingway
"He only loved people, he thought, who had fought or been mutilated. Other people were fine and you liked them and were good friends; but you only felt true tenderness and love for those who had been there and had received the castigation that everyone receives who goes there long enough." Ernest Hemingway