Gross jokes

[cams]

Bruins7, listen bud, while I appreciate your motivation, in regards to your sigline, we are not "fucking" Rangers. As well, those of us who are, are not "goddamned" cops. Clean up your sigline and go beat your face. 50 elevated push-ups for each gig. Go.

[Bruins7]

Ranger Cams, my apologies, it was a quote I grabbed off another member I found a lot of motivation in. I will remove it immediately.

[cams]

Ranger Cams, my apologies, it was a quote I grabbed off another member I found a lot of motivation in. I will remove it immediately.

I understand, as I said I appreciate the motivational aspect of it. Go get some time under your belt though and prove it. Then you can call me whatever you want and I'll smile about it. You from Boston?

[Steadfast]

Not gross but got a chuckle from me. One night at the local pub, a guy is smashed at closing time. He tried to get up and falls flat on his face. He tries it again, only to fall again. He thinks to himself, 'I didn't have that much to drink did I? The wife's gonna kill me.' He crawls outside, hoping the fresh air will do him some good.

In the parking lot, he tries to stand up and again falls flat on his face. He shrugs and decides to crawl home, hoping the extra time will sober him up.

He gets to his front stoop, and tells himself to pull it together so his wife doesn't realize he's drunk. He slaps himself a couple of times, and then tries to stand up on the first step. Again, he falls flat on his face. He crawls up to the door, and holding on to the knob, tries to stand again. Boom, on his face.

He decides to just crawl inside quietly and rest. After a few minutes, he tries to stand up, and again falls on his face. Disgusted with himself he quietly crawls upstairs. He peers into the bedroom and is relieved to see his wife is asleep. He quietly gets undressed and puts his clothes away and drags himself up into bed and falls asleep.

At 6:30 a.m. he's shocked awake by a bucketful of cold water. His wife is standing at the foot of the bed and he can tell she's furious. Trying not to let on he's hung over, he smiles and says "what was that for?"

"You went out and got drunk again!"

He starts to shake his head, but the look in her eyes scares him. "You're right, honey. It was a moment of weakness. Was I noisy coming in last night?"

"No, you asshole, you left your wheelchair at the pub again!"

The moral of this story is to never quit trying regardless of circumstances.

[RangerX]

Two nuns are riding their bikes down the back streets of Rome. One says "I've never come this way before!" to which the other replies, "It's the cobblestones."