Really not a joke

[Ranger Ron]

Monkeys --

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes the attempt with same result, all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another Monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs.

To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the snot out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs OR even why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. Finally, after replacing all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

Why not?

Because as far as they know, that is the way it has always been done around here.

And that, my fellow monkeys, is how Congress operates - And precisely why we need to REPLACE all the original monkeys this November.

[panthersix]

Couldn't find it on Snopes, so it must be true!

[merlyn]

We did the same experiment in our Abnormal Psych class, but we used members of the football team.

[mortar_guy78]

We did the same experiment in our Abnormal Psych class, but we used members of the football team.

Clearly, football players have abnormal psyches.

Shit, you could apply that anecdote to the fucking army, for that matter.

[merlyn]

We did the same experiment in our Abnormal Psych class, but we used members of the football team.

Clearly, football players have abnormal psyches.

Shit, you could apply that anecdote to the fucking army, for that matter.

Yeah, I lived in the jock dorm with those knuckle draggers. Actually, they were a group of staight up dudes. We won 3 consecutive bowl games
and something like 37 (?) consecutive games, before our first loss. WE had a few all coference, all american and pro players in that group.
As far as the Army is concerned, well said. You have a good one, Ranger mortar_guy78. Say, aren't you the one who blows the shit out of
everything?

[mortar_guy78]

We did the same experiment in our Abnormal Psych class, but we used members of the football team.

Clearly, football players have abnormal psyches.

Shit, you could apply that anecdote to the fucking army, for that matter.

Yeah, I lived in the jock dorm with those knuckle draggers. Actually, they were a group of staight up dudes. We won 3 consecutive bowl games
and something like 37 (?) consecutive games, before our first loss. WE had a few all coference, all american and pro players in that group.
As far as the Army is concerned, well said. You have a good one, Ranger mortar_guy78. Say, aren't you the one who blows the shit out of
everything?

As has been often observed before, there are few problems which cannot be solved with the high explosives. And a little white phosphorus.

[merlyn]

As has been often observed before, there are few problems which cannot be solved with the high explosives. And a little white phosphorus.

P for Plenty, anyone?

I've heard this anecdote before, but as it pertained the Army. You know the whole, "Why the fuck are we doing this?" "Because its always been done that way in the Army!"

The Army? It is what it is....as Ranger JLTW has written. If it is written, then it is so. As for the problem solving, Ranger mortar_guy78 has
the best solution. However, in civilian life this a bit more difficult to do without drawing too much negative attention to one's self. I think I
will stay with the mind- controlled explosions....I"m getting pretty good with the neighborhood cats. Also, much lower profile. Take care.

[Jim]

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new Obama health care proposals.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought it was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington

[McD]

Jim!!!! Most Excellent!

[Jim]

Fathom the odd hypocrisy that Obama wants every citizen to prove they are insured, but people don't have to prove they are citizens.

[Lefty]

Fathom the odd hypocrisy that Obama wants every citizen to prove they are insured, but people don't have to prove they are citizens.

That goes into my Top 10 classic quotes.

[Jim]

Condom History

In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.