A pilot and ground control

[Maggot275]

A Pan-Am 727 flight waiting for clearance in Munich

Lufthansa (in German): 'Ground, what is our start clearance time?'
Ground (in English): 'If you want an answer you must speak in English.'
Lufthansa (in English now): 'I am a German pilot, flying a German aircraft, in Germany. Why must I speak in English?'

Out of nowhere, an unknown voice from another craft in a British accent stated: 'Because you lost the bloody War!'

************************************************************************

At the Frankfurt Inernational Airport, Ground control was getting frustrated with a British Airways 747.

Ground: 'British Speedbird 206 taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.'
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: 'Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?'
Speedbird 206: 'Stand by Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now.'
Ground:(with an arrogant impatience) Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?'
Speedbird 206: (calmly) 'Yes, twice in 1944. But it was dark and I didn't land.'

[K.Ingraham]

Those have long been two of my favorites. Along those lines is the tale of the elderly American tourist trying to pass customs at Orly International in Paris:

When the French customs officer gave the tourist crap about not having his visa ready "Have you not ever entered another nation, you should know to have your visa ready"
"Bud," says the old man, "yes. I visited France before. and when I landed at Omaha, there weren't any Frenchmen waiting to check my visa."

[Ranger Ron]

"Not a Frenchman in sight!" Never is......

Nice post, I hope you don't mind but I stole it and passed it along.

[mortar_guy78]

Awesome. I am definitely stealing those.