I've saved this for a while; now on the actual 25th anniversary of the occurrence, and inspired by Rule #5 of CavTroop and Ranger H8train's list of "Our 213 Things", here it is. I'll dedicate it to anyone who's ever spent a boring day demonstrating your equipment to the population. It's a bit long; stick it out to the end.
It was Armed Forces Day 1979 and Fifth ID from Ft. Polk had turned out with a display of equipment. Small arms, crew- served, tents, helos, ambulances, trucks, jeeps, M113s, and even an M-60 they hauled over on a lowboy.
They were giving tours of the M-60 and my little brother and I headed there first. There was a Staff Sgt and a Corporal Miller and they were letting people in through the command hatch for some show and tell and then back out of another hatch when that was done.
There were two little kids ahead of us and we could hear them asking the usual questions like "Could you blow up a submarine?" and Cpl Miller, who was in the turret, must have been a little bored. He saw that my little brother and I were a little older and as soon as those kids left the turret and went up on the bow with the Staff Sgt, the Cpl cut off the flow of people coming in to give us a more in-depth tour.
He told me to take the TC seat, put my brother in the gunner's seat, and proceded to demonstrate loading procedures while we "ran" the tank. We couldn't traverse the turret because people were outside, but my brother could raise and lower the main gun, and I started giving him instructions like Fire!, Raise it all the way!, Lower it all the way down!, etc.
A few cycles of that and soon we heard one of the little kids out there near the drivers hatch yelling, Ow, owow, ooowww, OOooWWwww, OOOOOWWWOOWWW!, followed by a bellowing Staff Sgt yelling "HEY MILLER!! ELEVATE THE PIECE! YOU"RE CRUSHING THIS KID"S FOOT OUT HERE!!"
Now who ever said so'jers don't make funny faces in tense situations?
Cpl Miller, whether you stayed in or got out right after that, if you ever
read this and look me up, I got drinks on the bar waiting for you.
Have a great Armed Forces Day! Thanks to all of you who served.
Oilpatch
Happy Armed Forces Day!
Military Humor. Laugh at me. Laugh at you. Laugh at them.
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