Retirement Bonus

[hobbit]

The army decided it had to rift out some personnel because of budget cuts, so it offered a retirement bonus to any officer or NCO who wanted to take advantage of the plan. The retirement bonus would be paid at the rate of $1000 per inch. That is to say, the retiree could choose any two points on his own anatomy, and then the retirement bonus officer would measure the straight line distance between those points, and for each inch of distance, the retiree was paid $1000.

The first officer wanting to take advantage of the plan was a major general who had the bonus officer measure his anatomy from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. 72" exactly. A $72,000 retirement bonus.

The second officer was a lieutenant colonel who was wiser than his predecessor, since he stretched his arms up over his head and had them measure from the tips of his fingers to the soles of his feet. 96". A $96,000 retirement bonus.

The third retiree was a grizzled old sergeant major who told the bonus officer he wanted to be measured from the tip of his pecker to his left testicle. "OK," said the bonus officer, but I think you're making a mistake. "Drop your pants," he continued, soon stretching the tape measure across the sergeant major's pecker down to his left test..... "Hey," said the bonus officer, "Where's your left testicle?"

"Vietnam," replied the sergeant major.

[Ranger175csar]

"Hey," said the bonus officer, "Where's your left testicle?"

"Vietnam," replied the sergeant major.

Thats right bitch, now pay up!

[SkyShark]

[EvilCouch]

Hahahaha!

CHA-CHING!

[Steadfast]

That works out to about $760,320,000.

[hobbit]

That works out to about $760,320,000.

I was going to figure that out myself, but I knew somebody would beat me to it.

[AbnRgr289]