Farmers Lament

[Steadfast]

Earlier today I saw EP's pic post of EP hunting for Caribou Tail. It reminded me of this farmer lament.

A friend of mine named Joe walked into a bar to use the restroom before boarding a bus to the big city. There was a sign over the door to the rest rooms. It stated: Rest rooms are for our patrons only. They are off-limits to everybody else. Joe sat on a stool in this little town and ordered a mug of cold beer. The bartender reached into a icebox and withdrew a frosted mug, filled it with brew and set it down in front of my friend. it looked like smoke rising up from the mug as it's contents were quickly cooled. Joe drank from the glass and throughly enjoyed this very cold refreshing brew. Off to Joe's left he heard a man muttering and pointing up in the air, straight ahead and down at the ground. The man spoke to no one but himself. Joe ordered a beer for the man to his left and then moved to the stool next to him. Joe asked the man to explain who he was talking to and what was he talking about. Joe realized this man was a local farmer who ran into trouble milking his "betsy". The farmer keep saying over and over, "no one would ever believe me There is just no way that anyone will ever believe me." Joe sympathized with the farmer and asked him to elaborate and tell Joe the story. The farmer started with, "I just sat down on my stool to milk my good old betsy and I had about an inch of milk in the pail when she kicked the pail over with her left foot. No one will ever believe me." "Go on" said Joe. the farmer said, "I got a piece of rope and using my knife cut it in half and tied betsy left foot to the stall. No one will believe me." "Go on" urged Joe. the farmer said, "I sat back down on my stool and started milking betsy again and when I got the pail another inch of milk, she kicked over the pail with her right foot. No on will believe me." "Go on" urged Joe. The farmer continued, "I used the other half of the rope and tied ole betsys right foot to the stall. I sat down and started milking betsy again. No one will believe me." "Go on" urged Joe. "Well" the farmer says, "I got another inch of milk in the pail and this time she knocks over the pail with her tail. No one will believe me." "Go on" says Joe. "Well" say the farmer, "I look around and I ain't got no more rope so I takes off my belt and I am tieing betsys tail to the high end of the stall. I reached so high that my pants fell down to my ankles and before I could sit down and pull my pants back up. In walks my wife with betsys rear legs tied to either side of the stall and her tail tied up above and I dont wear underwear. My wife took one look at me and stormed out of the barn. No one will believe me."

[Madrat]

That was pretty good, Ranger Steadfast. I can empathise with him as I grew up on the family farm. Had more than one milk can kicked over in my milking days.