Familial Ramifications

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bobdub
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Familial Ramifications

Post by bobdub »

I have had a troubling last few days.

I spoke on the phone with my parents about my intentions of joining as a Ranger, and it went worse than I could have ever expected. They think I am crazy to leave a good job, and are convinced I will come back maimed. My father, who served in the military, and is as tough as Chuck Norris in conversation and in person, invited me to come over and fight him. I politely declined. I feel if I join, that my family will hate me, and I have no idea how to curb this, even if I don't join.

My Dad told me that he donated $10,000 to the Ranger Specialist Pat Tillman fund when that tragedy happened, and is planning on donating another $10,000 after our conversation. My Mom is from the same hometown as Pat Tillman, so the fact I chose the Rangers was emotional for them. My father says that there are some men that have no inhibitions against fratricide in the military, and that they will do it if they can get away with it, on a patrol etc. He doesn't want me to sacrifice my good life I already have.

Ironically, my cousin called my grandma the same day and told her that he was joining the Rangers, because he was unhappy with his life as being a financial intern with a bachelor's degree in finance. I found that to be a very strange occurrence, because I have never discussed the Rangers with him, or the military, and he seemed happy with his life.

My reasoning behind joining is that I feel the call to serve, but if it comes at the cost of destroying my family, it isn't worth it.

I am ever so grateful for great men like Ranger Specialist Tillman that fight and die for our freedom every day. It is sad to see such a good capable soldier, nfl football player, and husband, as him, to be shot by his own men.

I am ashamed to have caused such drama and turmoil in my wonderful parents' lives. I just wanted to let the Rangers of the 75th know that while I might not be in the 75th in body, I will always support you in spirit, and I will never ever quit training, in case the day comes when I am actually urgently needed. Like many of you Rangers say, the 75th isn't going anywhere.

I salute all you great soldiers who fight for and protect our freedom every day. Thank you.

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RangerX
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by RangerX »

Be your own man. Your parents will get over it. If they don't, you will.

Parents will almost always choose what is safe for their child over what is right. Only you can determine what is right.
C Co 3/75 88-90 (Just Cause)
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cams
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by cams »

Yup. Gotta cut that umbilical cord someday bud.
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until it has destroyed itself from within." -W. Durant

KW Driver
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by KW Driver »

And they'll likely support and love you after you've made your choice.
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RS 10-94.


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fireguy1
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by fireguy1 »

Now, I understand where you are coming from, because my parents and the rest of my family seem to think that what I wish to do is purely idiotic. They've gone as far as to say that they will have no contact with me, should I go.

What you do in life will reflect your true sense of character, and is ultimately your decision. It is your life, and you are the one who is charged with it at the end.

Hope this helped some. RLTW!

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ManchuV
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by ManchuV »

This reminds me of how my father was not happy that I went infantry. He told me to do something that I will do on the outside, but I did not want to go that route. I wanted to be an Infantryman.

I am the only kid out of four who joined the Army while everyone else went to college. Their college was paid by our parents. Mine was paid because of my service to the country. Today I am retired, and I am close in finishing my MED and becoming a teacher.

My father and I talk. He still does not talk about his military days especially Vietnam unless I ask him. Even though he retired from service, something in the Army really did not set well with him especially Vietnam.

I guess he was looking for my safety too, and did not want what happen to him to happen to me.

I guess in a strange way he got his wish because I never saw combat.
B Co 3/75 (2nd PLT) 1986
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centermass
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by centermass »

RangerX wrote:Be your own man. Your parents will get over it. If they don't, you will.

Parents will almost always choose what is safe for their child over what is right. Only you can determine what is right.
^^THIS^^

You're in your 20's, correct?

Also, unless your father was on the ground that day when Pat Tillman (As some of our members here were) was killed, he has the "Fluff and Buff" whitewash version of the events that tragically unfolded.

Do you have any idea how many times something like that could happen and doesn't? That's why the Regiment trains the way it does. It's the reason it has the standards that all members have to maintain. It's also the reason there's nothing else like it.

To say it will never happen is unrealistic. Ranger training for combat alone, is dangerous as it is, not to mention combat itself. I can guarantee you that if you apply yourself and succeed, you will get and receive the best training possible and available. The same goes for the leadership.

Be your own man, stand on your own 2 feet and decide what it is that YOU want to do. And if you're going to do it, DO IT FOR YOURSELF. Not anyone else, and not for the reasons of to make a point, get even, delusions of grandeur, etc etc. Do it because in your heart, IT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO, NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE.

Ranger KW Driver also made an important point.
KW Driver wrote:they'll likely support and love you after you've made your choice.
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US Army Retired 1977-1999

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Tater Nuts
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by Tater Nuts »

"I was gonna be a Ranger but my mommy wouldn't let me"
I don't think i've heard that one before.
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Lefty
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by Lefty »

Don't mean to pile on, BUT.........if you do not follow through on your own goals, you will have a lifetime to regret it and wish you had done differently.

As far as the hazards - there is a simple comparison: The first US death due to war was in 1775. The first US death from an auto accident was in 1895. Sources differ, but through 2010 about 1,314,000 Americans had been killed in war. US auto accident deaths reached and surpassed the 1.3 million mark in 1953. It only took 58 years for the American automobile to accomplish what took 235 years of US history to accomplish. The most dangerous place in the world remains the US highway.

Edit to add: US highway deaths had reached 3,240,140 thru 2003. Think about it.
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Jim
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by Jim »

My father was a draftee in WWII. He was a replacement in mid 1944, in 1-26 INF, 1ID. He hated the Army and resented it taking him away from his home and family. I enlisted in 1965 and was fortunate enough to also serve in 1-26. When I earned my CIB, I asked the First Sergeant to present me with his WWII CIB. As an aside, in WWII, the issued CIB was sterling silver, by Viet-Nam it was base metal. After the Tet Offence in 1968, I was med-evaced to Walter Reed. My father asked, isn't it time for you to get out and get a job. I explained that I planned to stay in the Army. His comment was, "you have done some stupid things in your life, but this takes the cake." Years later, When he died, I buried him and it reinforced that I made the right decision. I see your issue as being generational. When life runs right; sons bury their fathers. It is a family tragedy when fathers bury their sons.
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cams
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by cams »

fireguy1 wrote:Now, I understand where you are coming from, because my parents and the rest of my family seem to think that what I wish to do is purely idiotic. They've gone as far as to say that they will have no contact with me, should I go.

What you do in life will reflect your true sense of character, and is ultimately your decision. It is your life, and you are the one who is charged with it at the end.

Hope this helped some. RLTW!
STFU. You've been spoken to already by other Rangers. If you want to converse with other DEP's do it privately.

You are not a Ranger. Leave the "RLTW" to those that have earned it, lest you risk confusing other DEP's here that you are something you are not.

UnFuck yourself quickly.
2/75 HHC C/E 89-92
Rio Hato/AO Diaz CCT/Commo

"It is a heavy thing, to see a Father so strong in life, unable to rise."

"A great civilization is not conquered from without
until it has destroyed itself from within." -W. Durant

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fireguy1
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by fireguy1 »

cams wrote:
fireguy1 wrote:Now, I understand where you are coming from, because my parents and the rest of my family seem to think that what I wish to do is purely idiotic. They've gone as far as to say that they will have no contact with me, should I go.

What you do in life will reflect your true sense of character, and is ultimately your decision. It is your life, and you are the one who is charged with it at the end.

Hope this helped some. RLTW!
STFU. You've been spoken to already by other Rangers. If you want to converse with other DEP's do it privately.

You are not a Ranger. Leave the "RLTW" to those that have earned it, lest you risk confusing other DEP's here that you are something you are not.

UnFuck yourself quickly.
Roger, Ranger cams.

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Jim
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by Jim »

Well, BobDub, what are your thoughts now?
Ranger Class 13-71
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42d Vn Ranger Battalion 1969-1970
Trainer, El Salvador 86-87
Advisor, Saudi Arabian National Guard 91, 93-94
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Sleepy Doc
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by Sleepy Doc »

Before you answer, Let me throw my 2 sheckels in the mix..

I was in the National Guard for 6 years before I went on active duty and into the Ranger Regiment. Just before I shipped, they had the 4 Ranger students die in Florida phase of Ranger school. The day it made the news my father called me to ask if I had heard about it. Obviously, I had. He asked me, "..and you still want to go do this? Don't you think it is a little dangerous?" What could I say? Of course I thought it would be dangerous, but I was still determined to go. Something in me wanted, no needed to be there. All he could do was hope for the best. Remember, this was the pre-9/11-Clinton years. The biggest thing that happened at the time was Somalia.

If you really must do it, your parents will understand. If it helps put them at ease, remind him that they have the best medics on the planet-bar none. If you get wounded and aren't so grievously injured that you will succumb to your wounds? If there is any chance at all of saving you? The medics of the Ranger Regiment will do it. This is no bullshit. I can say this with 100% certainty. Tell your parents that they are, without question, the most highly skilled medics in the military. Period.

You might also want to remind your parents that fratricide happens no matter what unit you will be in. As long as people have been throwing rocks and sticks at each other, somebody will miss and hit the wrong person. It is one of the ugly costs of war. And even knowing of the Tillman-incident, were my son to say he was going to try to get into the Ranger Regiment, I would still have no reservations. Having been there myself, and seeing first-hand the level they are trained to, I would trust any Ranger, current or former, with my life and those of my loved ones.

Bottom line, you have to do this for you and no one else. YOU are the one who has to wake up and look at yourself in the mirror.
B Co 3/75 '95-'99
4th RTB '00-'01

"ahh, Daniel-san.. When balance good, Karate good...everything good!.." K. Miyagi

bobdub
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Re: Familial Ramifications

Post by bobdub »

Tater Nuts wrote:"I was gonna be a Ranger but my mommy wouldn't let me"
I don't think i've heard that one before.
Roger Ranger Tater Nuts. I realize how I sound, and I am not here to complain.

And, Ranger Jim, here's what I think now:

Thank you Rangers for your heartfelt stories and advice. I still have the urge to join the 75th, but after my second conversation with my father, with which he hung up on me, it put me in an unhealthy state of mind that I need to sort through before I make any decision of joining. I had a very hard time focusing at work today, and if I can't focus as I am now, what makes me think I can go and serve in combat with America's elite Rangers? I need to be in the best possible shape and frame of my mind if I am to be of any service to my country.

Since I am not going to have any support from my parents in joining, I will have a lot of loose ends that will take longer to tie up on my own, such as getting a new high school diploma and new birth certificate.

I am going to wait another month, and see where I am with things, as I keep training and make a decision with a clear mind.

My dad told me that all my reasons I have for joining sound like the reasons a recruiter tells someone like me to tell their parents. He is dead set on stopping me from joining.

I just have to be my own man.

Thank you for your consideration.

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