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Ranger Poser trophy kills for public viewing. Those named within have been caught posing as Rangers, by Rangers of this website.
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9 posts • Page 1 of 1
We have had a number of Rangers (and even one Ranger Wife) tell us about discovering Wannabee Rangers that they have exposed. Posers are simply attempting to steal the honor and glory earned by someone else's efforts. Posers are the lowest form of life and it is a pleasure to out them here on the site.
Ranger Class 13-71
Advisor, VN 66-68 69-70
42d Vn Ranger Battalion 1969-1970
Trainer, El Salvador 86-87
Advisor, Saudi Arabian National Guard 91, 93-94
75th RRA Life Member #867
Advisor, VN 66-68 69-70
42d Vn Ranger Battalion 1969-1970
Trainer, El Salvador 86-87
Advisor, Saudi Arabian National Guard 91, 93-94
75th RRA Life Member #867
Our first target of opportunity took place two days ago (4 July 2006) in Utah.
Everett Ruess wrote:I'm at the 4th of July parade yesterday with my oldest son and a friend of mine. After it was over I got up so we could start making our way down Main street. Well, somebody in ACUs walks right past me. On their left shoulder was a 3rd bn scroll above which was A FUCKING AIRBORNE TAB (with a Ranger tab above that)! So I immediatly ask the guy if he's a Ranger. He says "Yeah I'm at 3rd Ranger bn in Fort Benning". I replied that he was no Ranger and proceeded to rip him a new asshole. I told him the airborne tab is NOT worn with the scroll. He asked when I was in bn and proceeded to tell me times have changed! I asked his school date and he replied "5-1". He was wearing E-5 rank as well, but no rank on his PC and no tab on his PC (I'm assuming you bat boys with the tab wear them on your ACU PC like they always were on the BDU PC). He had no wings on. I asked to see his ID card but he apparently left his wallet at home. I told him if he was a Ranger he would have his coin. He again said he left his wallet at home. I told him that was bullshit and even if he didn't have his wallet he would have his coin. Thru all of this he kept insisting that he was a Ranger and I kept telling him he was a posing piece of shit and that we take this very seriously! Finally I said "OK, tell me who you're battalion commander is." He didn't have a clue and tried to walk away. I told him not to walk away from me and he came back. At that point I told him again that he was no Ranger and ripped the scroll and both tabs off his ACUs! All I wanted to do was kick his ass but there were people all around us and my oldest son was with me so I figured being taken away in handcuffs wouldn't be cool. Anyway he just walked off after I took his patches. I don't know if he was actually a soldier posing or a civilian posing. His name tape said "Goff" of which there are 143 non-civilian Goffs on AKO. There are none in the Utah National Guard. I have no idea what his first name is, I can only hope to bump into him again somewhere. Fucker!
Everett Ruess wrote:
The recovered scroll and tabs
Last edited by Jim on July 7th, 2006, 8:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Posts: 7846
- Joined: November 24th, 2004, 1:33 pm
- Location: doing race tracks in the Black Chinook
And one by a RANGER wife
Gordo173 wrote:The HH6 is in the parking lot of the local HEB, obviously pining for her studly, charming, dashing, debonair, tall, handsome and oh so modest Ranger who is doing his ever so altruistic duty protecting those who are reconstructing Iraq, when lo and behold she spots a young 20 something gentlemen climbing out of the cab of a white pickup with some sort of Ranger bumpersticker on it. Well, pining as she is and thinking it her civic duty to greet fellow warrior and to possibly buy him a beer as a token of thanks she proceeds to coin check him (mind you now she obviously doesnt have one, so if one were produced she would have to buy the young Ranger a beer). Well, the youngster failed to produce said coin and actually appeared to have no clue what she is referring to. HH6 now begins to think to herself, "Self, something isnt Kosher in Katytown this day"
HH6 then asks young sir if he was a Ranger, to which he replies in an affirmative manner, " Yes, ma'am"
HH6 queries further, "What Batt?"
Young Sir, "the one in Virgina"
HH6, "when did you go to Ranger school, what class?"
Young Sir, "Gee, I can't remember."
HH6 (this is where it gets good), "So which phase did you like best, Mountains, Florida, California or City?" (God this women cracks me up!)
Young Sir, "Oh California phase was great" (Yeah I kind a liked that phase myself!)
At this point HH6 dissolves into a ranting screaming cussing rage (trust me having been the receipient of 1 or 2 of those myself.....It Aint Pretty!). She is calling him a posing disgrace, besmirching the name Ranger, a lying sack of liberal shit without any balls...and on and on ad infinitum.
Young Sir is now frantically attempting to scratch off the sticker with a key and vacate the HEB parking lot as fast as his truck will allow him in order to be gone from this obviously insane and demented she-demon.
Unfortunately, HH6 in all her rage failed to get a license plate, name or follow him home in order to get an address. Still in all another poser busted, and well the parking lot at my HEB just got a little less crowded.
Good girl baby!
At the beginning of the year, one of our members performed an exposure with prejudice:
One of our other members was concerned and asked:Alright, this happened about a month ago, I wasn't going to post it because of actions I took, but fuck it, no victim, no crime, right? I would've heard something by now.
I'm in my local watering hole, again, and I step outside to have a smoke.
Now this asshole comes over running his mouth about being a combat vet, blah, blah, blah, and try's to shake my hand. Being the dick that I am, and the way he was flagging himself I say, "good for you." and walk away to smoke in peace.
He gets wicked pissed and starts demanding that I shake his hand. Again, I say no and ask him what unit he was with. You know what's coming.
First he says he was with the 1st/10th Maint. Div I think, then he says he was also in the 75th Ranger Battalion at Ft. Chaffee.
Well, I'm wearing my black PT shirt under my jacket and says to him, "Cool, me too. 'Cept there is no 75th Batt you fucking loser, get the fuck outta my sight."
I turn and walk back inside to drink my beer, thinking it's over, he's an idiot, just forget it, I'm saying to myself.
Asshat for the next two hours keeps walking up to me and trying to make me shake his hand, I'm trying to be cool so I don't get in a jam at work, but my temper and my buzz are growing. I told him prolly 5 or 6 times to get the fuck away from me, I ain't shaking your hand, I ain't fighting you, just go away.
It's my regular hangout, we don't need attention there from the local fuzz.
Finally, now I'm doing shots and he walks up and try's to give me a piece of paper with the name of a gym on it, tells me to meet him there tomorrow and he'll box my ears off. "Army vs. Army" he says. Good grief.
I heard enough and said fuck you, why wait, let's do it now and I walk outside.
He follows me out, rambling about how he's gonna show me and blah blah.
Starts calling me a fucking pussy, I'll fucking kill you, all the usual, I had already bladed my body to him.
I didn't say a word, just turned and kicked him with the top of my foot right across the side of his head, he stiffened straight up, and fell straight as a board onto the stairs. Out cold. No eyes. Nothing.
I lit another smoke, bent over and looked at him, said a few words, then stepped over him and went back to drinking.
One of the cooks was outside as well smoking, he never even flinched, put out his cigarette and walked back in behind me.
I was like shit, ok, that was a felony (shod foot). Was it worth it to shut him the fuck up and leave me alone so I could drink in peace. I didn't know, but figured I'd find out by the end of the night.
Never heard another word from him or the local PD, GTG.
I gotta stay in and watch more tv or something, either I'm too old for this shit or there's too many fucking losers out there, maybe both
Quote:Did you make sure the dude wasn't dead??
I did, that was what was involved with me bending over him and having a few kind words, just needed to make sure he got his eyes back before I left him there.
I'm not a total asshole ya know.
don't know why posers seem to abound in bars -- but they do:
I was sitting at my local watering hole last nite, when low and behold this fucking clown next to me starts to tell the pretty young bartender that he has three silver stars, two bronze stars and was in Somalia with the "2nd" Ranger Batt. out of "Ft Benning"!
I couldn't believe my good fortune!!
The bartender is a friend of mine, and knows a little about me (ahem), has actually worn my black pt shirt to bed on different occasions.
She listens intently to this ass clown, smiles and says, "Wow, thats so cool!" as she pours me another shot of Crown Royal, fully knowing whats gonna happen next.
I looked over, took my shot, and lifted him by his throat and belt, waited for him to begin choking and then started to recite the Creed as I half-walked half-ran him thru the fucking doors head first.
As he looked up at me from the sidewalk with a "what the fuck?" gaze on his face, he was advised not to return, ever, or he would be brutally beaten in the name of TFR.
I know I should've held out and tried to get personel info. on him, so he could be properly exposed, but he was a shit bag, dirty street type and I don't believe anyone with even minor credentials would heed his b/s.
Plus I was drinking whiskey and I just didn't want him near me anymore. Please forgive my lack of patience and intelligence gathering. I did enjoy it thoroughly tho, as did several other patrons of this fine establishment.
Once more a bar (this time in California) is the playing field.
Had drinks with a buddy after work yesterday. I sit down, throw my keys (have scroll attached to keychain) and shades on the bar next to me and commence to drink. Dude next to me goes:
"what Batt were you in?"
I tell him. He says he was also in 2/75, C, 1st Plt.
Me: "No shit? When did you leave?"
Says he left in '94. I ask him if he knows Sammy xxxx or Phil xxxx. Names don't ring a bell which is a little weird.
Then he does what all of the fucks do - he tries to impress me.
"Yeah, I was attached to Batt as a Rigger. We were real busy back then, you know? Went to Honduras, Panama and Somalia."
I look at him and ask him when the fuck 2/75 went to Somalia last, getting a case of the ass.
He volunteers that they came home when the mission was done in "92, you know...".
Then I proceed to own this fucker in front of the entire bar asking how many jumps anyone did in Somalia, what Batt went, that I am fortunate enough to know and associate with some of the guys who were there and that he is a clown for running his suck to the wrong guy. He says he "knows what he did and I wasn't even around for that."
I pull out the phone and tell him I am going call someone who has the TFR manifest, who was there and then put it on loudspeaker so the whole bar can hear that this guy is a fraud.
He turns pale....I tell him to get out of the bar. He sits there and mumbles about Bragg. I encourage his early departure and out the door he goes.
I'll get his name this week and post him on here.
2nd douchebag in two weeks. The last one was a no-shit "Halo-scuba-sniper-Ranger" who didn't know how long RS was and gave me a 04-08 class date. I owned that fucker on St. Patties infront of all his comrades....
I suppose these guys must be drinking the same koolaid "Infamous Jack" and the rest are sipping on. :D
How about a classic Poser Exposure from January 27, 2004 by two of our own, Desert Sloth and Horned Toad.
Desert Sloth wrote:In 99, our Border Patrol Station was tasked with running a checkpoint on one of the highways down here in Arizona. We have an intel training Army Base south of us near the border. We see a lot of soldiers traveling north to Tucson to get some R&R or to travel. One night a vehicle comes up to the checkpoint and I see this guy wearing a black beret (Before the Army transitioned to everyone having a black beret). I look into the vehicle and the guy looks like he is sleeping, well I lean in to say hello and I see that he has a 3rd Batt scroll BUT wearing the 2d Batt Flash on his beret. So I ask this kid what company he is from, he looks at me and says, "B" Company (Who in the military says "B" and not Bravo Company or "B CO"?). This kid has his mother with him and I tell him, cool, I was with Bravo Company 2d batt, but I did not want to bust him out in front of his Mom. I send them on their way....fast forward to two weeks later...I see the same car coming up to the checkpoint, I see this kid again (in uniform), this time his girlfriend is driving, I could not resist, I told my partner working primary to send him into secondary. I have this guy get out and asked him if he remembered me, he said "nope". I then pulled out my coin and placed it on top of his hood. The kid starts to twitch. I lay into him, calling him every name in the book, he starts to stammer that he is a Ranger and blah, blah, blah....I pointed out the discrepencies of his uniform, asked him to name the cadre in RIP, who his PL and PSG currently are, what Ranger School Class he was in, which he did not (he was wearing a tab, CIB, Jump Wings, AND a combat scroll). I also asked him where he went to get the CIB, he said it was classified and he did'nt have to tell me shit. I pulled out my handy dandy Spiderco knife and told him to strip his uniform in the next 30 seconds or I was going to call down to Ft. Huachuca and have the MPs come up and hook him up for impersonation. The kid took off every friggen patch on his uniform for me and gave them up.
Anyways, I did a little investigating and found out this kid lived locally and had been kicked out of the Army already for falsifying his enlistment records (Imagine that). The kicker is that the local newspaper had written a story about the kid 6 mos earlier about him being a Special Forces guy and doing all kinds of heroic deeds in South Africa as part of the Ranger Regiment. Can you believe that crap?? This kid had been parading around for awhile impersonating a Ranger and had everyone believing it.
Horned Toad and I were contemplating on doing another hit on this guy to recover anything else that was associated with our beloved Regiment. In the end we did not, the good news is that I have seen this kid on two other seperate occasions and he appears to have learned his lesson.
One less oxygen thief posing as a true warrior!
And the hits just keep on coming.
rgrokelley wrote: Poser spotted:
Sanford, North Carolina 25 June 2009
I was filling up my truck full of gas and this short, fat, bearded guy came over to me, sucking on a soda and smoking a cigarette. He saw my bumperstickers and asked when I got out of the Army. I told him 1999, and he said "I got out a few years before you". He saw the 3rd Ranger Battalion sticker, and said "I was in 3rd Rangers too". I asked him when, and he said "86 and 87". I asked him, "down in Stewart?" and he said yes. I asked him what happened next, and he said he did embassy duty in Djibouti, where he was wounded. I asked him how he went from a Ranger battalion to embassy duty. The alarm must have gone off in his head, because he started back tracking. He said, "I wasn't in the Rangers, I just support attached to them. I didn't make it through the school to get into the Ranger Battalion, but I went on missions with them."
I had better shit to do, so I told him "you're a poser, and you're full of shit. You may not want to do that in the future. Some Rangers take it pretty seriously, and may kick your ass." He then turned around, without saying anything, and walked away.
So, no Stolen Valor Act, but interesting to know they are out there.
One of our high tech members exposed this wannabee by cellphone:
1st off whats a DD203?
110 minutes ago I am heading out the door to go shopping with the wife, when the phone rings. It's my long lost wheeling buddy Chris from MI who recently moved to Tampa FL for a job. Chris is at a bar and ran into a person claiming rather openly to anyone that would listen "I'm a Ranger" .
Chris knowing me looks at this guy and says "funny I have a buddy whose a Ranger, Let me call him" So here I am on the horn with a drunk guy named bryan who says he was in "Regiment, 1st Battalion"
I answer him in return with the C. Co / SNOT / OEF/OIF addendum. He calls me a young shit and then says something about the 80's. We bullshit a little hes in a bar so its hard to hear. and I get tired of talking to a drunk who cant or wont answer my questions about Ranger school. So I extend an invite here and outline that we verify service in the Rangers. About now this dipshit says he cant do that because he's "still operating".
Me: "oh ok. Your still in?"
Him "Yep 26 years 3 months, I've lost more rank then i gained, I am in 1st group and I am home for a bit."
Me: Ok welcome home, when were you in Battalion and do you mind giving me your last name?
Him: "83", and then he lists a bunch of other shit, more or less rambling off numbers and digits that I dont recognize as Army units.
Me" Hmm you were only in the regiment for a year? Ok well heres what i want you to do. Show my Buddy your coin?
Him: "You'll need a shovel, its on my buddies chest in Arlington"
Me: Me ok Whose your dead buddy? I will stop at his grave next time I am in Arlington. And why havent you replaced your coin yet?
Him: No. thats classified. and You cant replace a coin ? 11b hoah 11b hooah He continued into an explanation that made it sound like "Going sterile" was a new thing that came in with the ACU uniform and how he runs "sterile" all the time.
Me. ehh whatever Battalions been going sterile for years and theres a million privates running around the army sterile to.
Him:Some more 11b bullshit.
Me: yea 11b1V, I dont think your legit, put Chris back on the horn.
Chris and I have a discussion regarding our suspicions.
Chris decides to fuck with this guy a bit while I am an the horn.
Dipshit tells Chris he has a 203? Not the G. luancher, the paperwork? because that proves hes a Ranger. I guess i should know what that is cuz its supposed to be similar to a DD214?
he then starts ranting at Chris to ask me what "3 up 3 down" means. After a little discussion I realize hes talking about "his" chevrons and rockers as if those would prove hes a Ranger. Chris continues to call him a poser and a long list of other shit. He then tells Chris to ask me how to Tell a Ranger in three seconds. So I guide Chris in another coin check. Again he balks and spouts off about 3 up 3 down some more and continues pushing the 11b Infantry line. Never did get his explanation of how to tell a Ranger in 3 seconds.
I guess this guy started saying some shit about me to Chris, cuz Chris put the phone down and chased the dude across the parking lot. This cat runs like a scared pussy and jumps into his minivan and jumps on it, promptly running into a building and subsequently backing into a light pole before tearing out of the parkinglot drunk. Somewhere in that Chris is back on the horn laughing his ass off explaining to me the recent events.
Well thats my story for the night. I really wish i could have taped the whole thing and posted it here. theres some stupid people/soldiers running around.