More from "Shit my dad says"

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Lunch
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More from "Shit my dad says"

Post by Lunch »

Not sure how long ago the last post on this was. If some of these are repeats I don't give a shit, they're worth it.

http://shitmydadsays.com/

"Stop trying so hard. He doesn't like you. Jesus, don't kiss an ass if it's in the process of shitting on you."

“It’s Los Angeles, son. It’s the epicenter of the asshole earthquake. They’d fuck you twice if they had another dick.”

"I’m not sure you can call that roughing it, son… Well, for one, there was a fucking minivan parked forty feet from your sleeping bags.”

"Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in someone else's pants."

"I found some shit in your room...No, I found actual shit. Feces...Well I should hope it's from your shoes, otherwise what the fuck?"

"Don't start a story with This is SO funny. Be like saying My dick's huge before you screw. Even if you're right you sound like an asshole."

"War hero? No. I was a doc in Vietnam. My job was to say "This is what happens when you screw a hooker, kid. Put this cream on your pecker."

"HIDDEN roaming charges? Jesus, Sprint has 'fucking people' down to a science, like they practice it in a fucking lab on mice first."

"I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised."

"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor."

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

"There's a word for people like that...No, I'm saying, there's a word and I don't know what it is. I'm not being fucking poetic."

"Nah, we don't celebrate it. Don't know who St. Valentine was, don't give a shit, and doubt he wants people screwing in his memory."

"Don't mess with him...Trust me, you don't fuck with a man that sleeps next to a woman he never screws. They're unpredictable."
Aco 3/75 1988-1990
HHC 2/11 1990-1992
Aco 2/3 SFG(A), ODA 345,346 1993-1996
HSC 2/3 SFG(A) CE 1996-1997

My pain is self-chosen

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GoldCoast
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Re: More from "Shit my dad says"

Post by GoldCoast »

These are great. Thanks!
HHC 2/75 (1998- 2000)

Duty a mountain; Death a feather.

One of these days I'll start off slow...

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Redrose100
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CBS Picks Up Shatner Sitcom ‘$#*! My Dad Says

Post by Redrose100 »

I think Stacy Keach would have knocked this role out of the park but

The official CBS ‘upfront’ presentation is not until tomorrow, but The Hollywood Reporter and other sources have confirmed that CBS has picked up the sitcom $#*! My Dad Says for the fall season. The comedy is about a young man (played by Cougar Town’s Ryan Devlin) who has to move in with his curmudgeon father (played by Shatner). The show is based on the real-life relationship between writer Justin Halpern and his father, and was spawned from his popular Twitter page @shitmydadsays. There is an unconfirmed report at Deadline Hollywood that even though CBS liked the show, they will be replacing Devlin as the son.

Halpern co-wrote the pilot and is an executive producer on the show. In a new interview promoting his new book, Halpern said of Shatner "I pushed for Mr. Shatner. He’s been fantastic. He’s like my dad in that he says what he wants to say when he wants to say it."

http://trekmovie.com/2010/05/17/cbs-pic ... dercovers/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

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Lunch
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Re: More from "Shit my dad says"

Post by Lunch »

"Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor."

I'm considering adding this one to my Forest Service email signature block...all those sentimental and artsy comments by Aldo Leopold, Gifford Pinchot, etc that people use around here just scream "get me out of this cubicle".
Aco 3/75 1988-1990
HHC 2/11 1990-1992
Aco 2/3 SFG(A), ODA 345,346 1993-1996
HSC 2/3 SFG(A) CE 1996-1997

My pain is self-chosen

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