1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

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al_2ndWolfhounds
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1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

I thought I would relate some strange, odd, funny or typically GI happenings. I will update periodically with new ones.

The first:

My arrival as a replacement in Vietnam; I did not deploy with a unit as many of us did not. We flew to Vietnam on a Pan Am plane, I had a window seat. The Flight Attendants, then called Stewardess were all Veterans (all over 40 and had many trips to and from Vietnam under their belts). It was a very boisterous group to say the least. These great ladies took great care of us and handled us with much aplomb. In other words they could give as good as they got.

My first sight of Vietnam out of the window was very surreal. In the distance I could see many helicopters and fast movers flying through the skies and smoke coming from the ground. Closer observation showed that the smoke was coming from napalm strikes, rocket fire and artillery.

We were soon landing and I got a closer look of the ground. The countryside was beautiful but most of the buildings that people lived in were little more than claptrap hovels. As it happened my side of the plane was away from the terminal. When the plane had stopped they rolled up the stairway to the plane. As the door opened an oppressive heat rolled into the plane as well and the most horrendous screaming you can imagine. It was then that I looked out the otherside of the plane and saw a group of soldiers jumping up and down a screaming at the top of their lungs. As I exited the plane I got a chance to hear what they were saying...welcome turtles, what took you so long? They were waiting to get on the plane and return to the States, we were replacing them on the roles of those to serve in Vietnam. I don't think I had ever seen a happier group of people.

It was then that I noticed the odor that only ended when I got back on a plane 365 days later....the smell of burning shit that had been mixed with kerosene. The funny thing is if you had a minor screw up in Vietnam you inevitably ended up on "Shit Detail" which entailed pulling a half of a 55 gallon drum from under a shitter pouring kerosene into it and stirring well and lighting. If it didn't burn thoroughly you had to keep pouring in more kerosene and stirring. Obviously not anything you would want to do on a regular basis.

This is the first of three Vietnam shit burning footnotes that i will regale you with over time. Hopefully all will enjoy and a get a chuckle from my fellow Vietnam Brothers. Do they still burn shit at combat outposts?
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22

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fusion94
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by fusion94 »

al_2ndWolfhounds wrote: Do they still burn shit at combat outposts?
We did during the Desert Shield phase of Desert Shield/Desert Storm in the base I was deployed out of. Actually calling it a base would be generous as it was just the forward outpost for our Scout Platoon.

2 smells that will stay with me forever is the smell of burning shit and the smell of burning flesh.
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al_2ndWolfhounds
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

fusion94 wrote:
al_2ndWolfhounds wrote: Do they still burn shit at combat outposts?
We did during the Desert Shield phase of Desert Shield/Desert Storm in the base I was deployed out of. Actually calling it a base would be generous as it was just the forward outpost for our Scout Platoon.

2 smells that will stay with me forever is the smell of burning shit and the smell of burning flesh.
This thread was intended to be humorous. I agree with you but didn't want to go there with this thread.
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Dan B 3/75
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by Dan B 3/75 »

The boys are still burning poo at alot of the outposts.

Of course, the big FOB's have shower trailers, shitter trailers and such, and some of those places are so garrison like you'd think we were doing a peace keeping mission.

It sucks going to war and having garrison break out...

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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by snafu »

Dan B 3/75 wrote:It sucks going to war and having garrison break out...

Agreed! Buddy of mine got a speeding ticket (from an actual U.S. Army MP) at an outstation while he was on a quad, inside the wire, driving behind a stryker. Ridiculous.

As far as the shit burning situation: Thank God for KBR...

Keep em comin Ranger Al...!
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by fatboy »

On my last deployment I tried to get shit burning re-instated for extra duty while out at our outpost, but I was shut down by the 1sg because it was cruel. :shock:

As as side note, some of my joes couldn't believe we actually did things like that during the invasion. Damn Kids.... :D
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by BonesC75RVN »

First platoon of Charlie Co. Rangers were by themselves in Plekiu for about three months. There were so few of us that sooner or later you got the shit burning detail because it just had to be done, not because you got in any trouble. I had the detail more then once as it usually took two or three guys to handle the job.
It always struck me as funny, burning shit, while talking shit, while drinking and smoking shit, wondering how you got into this shit, laughing at some of your buddies shit. Shit, I guess you had to have been there in the shit with us to know what I mean.
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al_2ndWolfhounds
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

BonesC75RVN wrote:First platoon of Charlie Co. Rangers were by themselves in Plekiu for about three months. There were so few of us that sooner or later you got the shit burning detail because it just had to be done, not because you got in any trouble. I had the detail more then once as it usually took two or three guys to handle the job.
It always struck me as funny, burning shit, while talking shit, while drinking and smoking shit, wondering how you got into this shit, laughing at some of your buddies shit. Shit, I guess you had to have been there in the shit with us to know what I mean.
Now this is why I started this thread. Thank you Bones.
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22

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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by Earthpig »

BonesC75RVN wrote:First platoon of Charlie Co. Rangers were by themselves in Plekiu for about three months. There were so few of us that sooner or later you got the shit burning detail because it just had to be done, not because you got in any trouble. I had the detail more then once as it usually took two or three guys to handle the job.
It always struck me as funny, burning shit, while talking shit, while drinking and smoking shit, wondering how you got into this shit, laughing at some of your buddies shit. Shit, I guess you had to have been there in the shit with us to know what I mean.
That's some funny shit, there! :lol:

RLTW
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Dan B 3/75
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by Dan B 3/75 »

You've GOT to have a monkey story...

I heard this tale from my father, who apparently had "issues" with monkeys on more than one occasion over there.

My old man did his second tour as an adviser in the 70-71' time frame. He told me this story about how one of the NCO's on the team secured a monkey, and how comedy ensued. He said he walked into their team hooch and saw the monkey and was like...

"WTF!?"

...the NCO that "owned" it shows up to claim it, and says it's "very friendly, here, feed it.", at which point my father offers the monkey some chow.

CHOMP!!!

...the monkey grabbed the chow, and proceeded to bite the SHIT out of my fathers hand!! LOL!

So the old man is telling the NCO "HELL no! Get that thing out of here!", but the NCO, being an NCO, used his powers of persuasion, and the monkey stayed.

Time goes on, and the monkey proves to be pretty much an out of control pain in the ass, and the team is starting to prepare eviction notices, if not execution orders for the damn monkey. The thing would escape from his cage or untie his leash, steal and hide shit, throw food, crap where it shouldn't, make noise, and basically just do the typical shit one would expect out of a monkey. The only defender of said monkey was the original NCO who "liberated" it in the first place.

Finally, the team and my father had had enough, and they were going to tell the NCO that either he was moving out WITH the monkey, or the monkey was moving alone, either way was fine with them. Before that could happen though, the Vietnamese battalion commander decided he needed to check out the team hooch.

This Vietnamese commander was apparently a big tool. Never did shit, didn't give a fuck about his troops, didn't care about accomplishing anything except getting paid. Basically the dude was a big pogue that liked having rank, and wearing a fancy uniform. Not Mr. Popular with the team, or anybody else.

This dude HAD to come into the team hooch, which NO Vietnamese EVER did as it was the teams personal space. Needless to say, the team was pissed.

The uniform the dude was wearing that particular day was described to me as a garrish formal white uniform, with all the bells and whistles, including cool guy aviator shades, white hat, gloves, and a gucci holster for his sidearm. The commander and his entourage link up with my dad and some of the other team members, and they escort him into the hooch.

That's when the monkey saw the Vietnamese commander...

The commander gets about 5 steps into the hooch, and the monkey just starts going APE SHIT. Literally. My dad thinks it was the white uniform that set him off, but when he saw the commander, he started screaming, jumping around, and promptly proceeded to hurl steaming piles of monkey shit ALL over the commanders nice white uniform. The Vietnamese commander stopped dead in his tracks, made vain efforts to avoid the incoming fecal assault, did a 360 and promptly got the hell out of the hootch never to return.

Right than and there, it was concluded that that damn monkey was not going ANYWHERE, and it had earned a position of honor on their team.

He told me the monkey even earned a set of jump wings, ie, they rigged a little harness for a 155 parachute, would climb up the commo tower, and huck that little bastard off. He said the monkey would curl up in a little ball and grab the suspension lines like he was pulling a slip. One of the NCO's even got it a combat jump by hucking it off the tower during some sporadic incoming.

Crazy, but, not surprising, and comedy gold imo.

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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by K.Ingraham »

Dan B 3/75 wrote:The commander gets about 5 steps into the hooch, and the monkey just starts going APE SHIT... and promptly proceeded to hurl steaming piles of monkey shit ALL over the commanders nice white uniform.
Never think that critters are not excellent judges of people. Someday I'll tell the story of my cat & the defendant's lawyer.
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

One of the guys in my platoon ended up with a monkey. Horniest little bastard you've ever seen. It was always either humping the backside of our company dog or trying to screw his owners ear. First time that I ever knew a monkey will whack off...unbelievable that he kept it as long as he did. One day the little shit jumped up on the 1Sgt shoulder and started in on him...end of monkey, he grabbed it and head twisted in one direction body in the other.
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22

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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by Dan B 3/75 »

al_2ndWolfhounds wrote:One of the guys in my platoon ended up with a monkey. Horniest little bastard you've ever seen. It was always either humping the backside of our company dog or trying to screw his owners ear. First time that I ever knew a monkey will whack off...unbelievable that he kept it as long as he did. One day the little shit jumped up on the 1Sgt shoulder and started in on him...end of monkey, he grabbed it and head twisted in one direction body in the other.

LOL!!!

G'damn monkeys....

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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by BonesC75RVN »

We had this monkey, and while I was in the field, the little hairy bastard got in to my shit. He got in everybodies shit. I got a dog named Shuford, he had to guard my shit from the theiving little hairy bastard. The guy that owned the monkey took it to another platoon. Shuford stayed around, come to think of it, I never saw another Monkey in the tent after that, damn good dog. No shit.... :lol:
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al_2ndWolfhounds
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Re: 1st of many humourous, odd. or strange things in my past.

Post by al_2ndWolfhounds »

2nd Installment of the odd shit burning trio.

In Vietnam 1969 in the non swamp portion of our AO it was not unusual to have what we called Coke kids (they followed us with coolers of Coke on ice that was insulated by rice husk..had to clean husk off to drink) and by Boom Boom girls (ladies of the night that only worked during the day because it was too dangerous to approach us at night). On one bright sunny morning one of my guys from the back of the patrol hustles up to me and tells me that there is a new mama-san following trying to sell pot:yes we had regulars that seem to be assigned to our unit.. As much as there a many stories that everyone in Vietnam did drugs and boozed it up; guys in the field didn't and the few that did usually got the shit beat out of them by other guys that were more interested in staying alive.

I call a break and go to the back of the formation and there she is with her three wheel bike and much to my amazement she had FOUR shopping bags full of marijuana. (Same size as the brown paper bags we used to get in grocery stores) Well I certainly couldn't pass on letting her move on to sell to other GIs that might get a little stupid so I confiscated it, I did have a Vietnamese National Police Officer with me at the time. He talked to her and she left a bit pissed off but life goes on. When we got back to our Patrol Base he said he would take care of it, I pretty much knew what his plans were and said no I had to turn it to my Company Commander, that was two pissed people in one day.

I reported in from the patrol and told my CO that I had confiscated some pot from someone trying to sell it to us, he told me to put it on his table and he would take care of it. As soon as I had the four bags filling the table I got a WTF look from him. He told me to get rid of it. I walked back out, and you guessed it, Shit Burning was about to start.

The real kicker here is that we did figure out who the real pot heads were because they got down wind from the burning shit smoke. Usually during shit burning everyone avoiding being down wind. There they were sitting on the bunker line inhaling the REAL SHIT.
RLTW

Active service 01/67-12/73
Ranger Class 10-68
2/27 Inf 25th Inf Div Vietnam 01/69-01/70

"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take." - Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
“The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.” – Joseph Heller, Catch-22

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