I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they Understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and Gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'
'NO!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everythi ng
Tidy, would that get me into heaven?'
Again, the answer was 'No!' By now I was starting to smile.
' Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children,
And loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?'
Again, they all answered 'No!'. I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, ' Then how can I get into heaven?'
A six year-old boy shouted out 'YUV GOTTAE BE FOOCKN' DEAD...........'
How to get to Heaven in Scotland
Moderator: Site Admin
How to get to Heaven in Scotland
C 2/75, 1st Plt, Wpns Sqd 76-79
RS 3-78
Mattoon's Goons
A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve --
is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life.'
RS 3-78
Mattoon's Goons
A 'Veteran' -- whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve --
is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America,' for an amount of 'up to, and including his life.'
- K.Ingraham
- Ranger
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- Joined: January 25th, 2005, 11:59 am
Re: How to get to Heaven in Scotland
Who'd have imagined that Kilted Heathen ever went to Sunday school?
http://www.75thrra.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
2d Bn U.D. for 75th Ranger Regt Assn
2d Bn(Ranger)75 Inf 1975-'77
RS 9-76
Former mentor to RANGER XCrunner.
"I am well aware that by no means equal repute attends the narrator and the doer of deeds” Sallust ‘The Catiline Conspiracy’
2d Bn U.D. for 75th Ranger Regt Assn
2d Bn(Ranger)75 Inf 1975-'77
RS 9-76
Former mentor to RANGER XCrunner.
"I am well aware that by no means equal repute attends the narrator and the doer of deeds” Sallust ‘The Catiline Conspiracy’
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- Ranger/LRRP/Admin
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Re: How to get to Heaven in Scotland
Best not be FOOCKN' around with the Heathen else YOU might be in Heaven!!!!!!!
SUA SPONTE - "We few, we happy few, we BAND OF BROTHERS;
for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother!" - Shakespeare
RLTW! - Land of the Free BECAUSE of the Brave
RS 3-70
SSG VN 69-70
I Co., 75th. Inf.
4/9 Inf., 25th ID
Mentored Ranger kozzman555
http://www.75thrra.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 183
http://www.ranger.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 3537
for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother!" - Shakespeare
RLTW! - Land of the Free BECAUSE of the Brave
RS 3-70
SSG VN 69-70
I Co., 75th. Inf.
4/9 Inf., 25th ID
Mentored Ranger kozzman555
http://www.75thrra.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 183
http://www.ranger.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 3537
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- Tadpole
- Posts: 4542
- Joined: November 12th, 2004, 4:52 pm
Re: How to get to Heaven in Scotland
My cousin Ryan The Lion when he was about that same age saw a side-walk Santa after he'd written his Santa letter.As he was being dragged along past him by my Aunt he said to the Santa "You won't forget will you?" Santa said "Of course not!"
My Aunt said "Chattin' wi' Santa, Sweetie?"
Ryan said "Well, I don't want him to forget my fuckin' bike!"
My Aunt said "Chattin' wi' Santa, Sweetie?"
Ryan said "Well, I don't want him to forget my fuckin' bike!"
312th LRS 1st CAV 89-91
RS 12-91
RI 4RTB 92-94
H Co.121(ABN)(LRS)04-PRESENT
WTC PRC 05-06
OIF 06-07
WTC PRC 07-2010
TF Wolf MUTC 2010-
"The lapdance is always better when the stripper is crying"
The trouble with Scotland is it's full of Scots!
RS 12-91
RI 4RTB 92-94
H Co.121(ABN)(LRS)04-PRESENT
WTC PRC 05-06
OIF 06-07
WTC PRC 07-2010
TF Wolf MUTC 2010-
"The lapdance is always better when the stripper is crying"
The trouble with Scotland is it's full of Scots!
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- Ranger/LRRP/Admin
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- Joined: June 22nd, 2006, 8:47 am
Re: How to get to Heaven in Scotland
HO! HO! HO!Kilted Heathen wrote:My cousin Ryan The Lion when he was about that same age saw a side-walk Santa after he'd written his Santa letter.As he was being dragged along past him by my Aunt he said to the Santa "You won't forget will you?" Santa said "Of course not!"
My Aunt said "Chattin' wi' Santa, Sweetie?"
Ryan said "Well, I don't want him to forget my fuckin' bike!"
SUA SPONTE - "We few, we happy few, we BAND OF BROTHERS;
for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother!" - Shakespeare
RLTW! - Land of the Free BECAUSE of the Brave
RS 3-70
SSG VN 69-70
I Co., 75th. Inf.
4/9 Inf., 25th ID
Mentored Ranger kozzman555
http://www.75thrra.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 183
http://www.ranger.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 3537
for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother!" - Shakespeare
RLTW! - Land of the Free BECAUSE of the Brave
RS 3-70
SSG VN 69-70
I Co., 75th. Inf.
4/9 Inf., 25th ID
Mentored Ranger kozzman555
http://www.75thrra.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 183
http://www.ranger.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 3537
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- Tadpole
- Posts: 2143
- Joined: July 16th, 2004, 9:02 am
Re: How to get to Heaven in Scotland
Haha! That's funnier than the original joke.Kilted Heathen wrote:My cousin Ryan The Lion when he was about that same age saw a side-walk Santa after he'd written his Santa letter.As he was being dragged along past him by my Aunt he said to the Santa "You won't forget will you?" Santa said "Of course not!"
My Aunt said "Chattin' wi' Santa, Sweetie?"
Ryan said "Well, I don't want him to forget my fuckin' bike!"
St Barbara's Bastards
82C1P
"Parole officer says I gotta upgrade, or he won't give me back my stabbin' knife!"~Roberto
82C1P
"Parole officer says I gotta upgrade, or he won't give me back my stabbin' knife!"~Roberto