How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket!

Silverback · Post by **Silverback** » July 7th, 2008, 12:10 pm

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 7th, 2008, 12:44 pm

Nice bump for the new guys.

abnhawk · Post by **abnhawk** » July 7th, 2008, 4:24 pm

RTO wrote:Nice bump for the new guys.

Huh? You bumped a 34 minute old post? That's pretty new

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 7th, 2008, 6:28 pm

abnhawk wrote:
RTO wrote:Nice bump for the new guys.
Huh? You bumped a 34 minute old post? That's pretty new

No, he bumped a 3 year old story. But, he tells it much better than I do.

viewtopic.php?t=16404&highlight=may++dr ... ce+license

McD · Post by **McD** » July 8th, 2008, 3:26 am

Still Funny though!

Jim · Post by **Jim** » July 8th, 2008, 5:14 am

Actually, I found that if you have a Purple Heart license plate on your car the police will give you a warning rather than a ticket. It's worked for me for more than 14 years. This is a non-scientific study, but my buddy Gayle has one and he hasn't had a ticket in nearly twenty years.

abnhawk · Post by **abnhawk** » July 8th, 2008, 5:40 am

Jim wrote:Actually, I found that if you have a Purple Heart license plate on your car the police will give you a warning rather than a ticket. It's worked for me for more than 14 years. This is a non-scientific study, but my buddy Gayle has one and he hasn't had a ticket in nearly twenty years.

As a cop I'll tell you that you are mostly correct. Some citizens bitch and moan about it, but I have better things to do with my time on the clock than writing tickets to wounded vets. If they are so hurt by that reality, then I'd be happy to hook them up with a recruiter who can assist them in earning their own PH plate

I've also run across some who abuse the priviledge. The plate only gets you out of so much, plus I know cops who don't care and write tickets anyway. So y'all slow down and be safe.

Chiron · Post by **Chiron** » July 8th, 2008, 6:17 am

Silverback · Post by **Silverback** » July 8th, 2008, 6:54 am

RTO wrote:
abnhawk wrote:
RTO wrote:Nice bump for the new guys.
Huh? You bumped a 34 minute old post? That's pretty new
No, he bumped a 3 year old story. But, he tells it much better than I do.
viewtopic.php?t=16404&highlight=may++dr ... ce+license

It's all about the delivery...and heterosexual credentials.

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 8th, 2008, 7:13 am

Silverback wrote:
RTO wrote:
abnhawk wrote: Huh? You bumped a 34 minute old post? That's pretty new
No, he bumped a 3 year old story. But, he tells it much better than I do.
viewtopic.php?t=16404&highlight=may++dr ... ce+license
It's all about the delivery...and heterosexual credentials.

Says the guy who just posted this this morning:

Silverback wrote:
"Evidence shows that allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly is unlikely to pose any significant risk to morale, good order, discipline or cohesion,"

Silverback · Post by **Silverback** » July 8th, 2008, 7:22 am

RTO wrote:
Silverback wrote:
It's all about the delivery...and heterosexual credentials.
Says the guy who just posted this:
Silverback wrote:
"Evidence shows that allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly is unlikely to pose any significant risk to morale, good order, discipline or cohesion,"

All I can say is....

viewtopic.php?t=13840&highlight=

RangerX · Post by **RangerX** » July 8th, 2008, 7:50 am

Silverback wrote:
RTO wrote:
Silverback wrote:
It's all about the delivery...and heterosexual credentials.
Says the guy who just posted this:
Silverback wrote:
"Evidence shows that allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly is unlikely to pose any significant risk to morale, good order, discipline or cohesion,"

All I can say is....

viewtopic.php?t=13840&highlight=

Oh just damn.

So RTO, how is Smiley doing these days?

Jim · Post by **Jim** » July 8th, 2008, 8:09 am

abnhawk wrote:
Jim wrote:Actually, I found that if you have a Purple Heart license plate on your car the police will give you a warning rather than a ticket. It's worked for me for more than 14 years. This is a non-scientific study, but my buddy Gayle has one and he hasn't had a ticket in nearly twenty years.
As a cop I'll tell you that you are mostly correct. Some citizens bitch and moan about it, but I have better things to do with my time on the clock than writing tickets to wounded vets. If they are so hurt by that reality, then I'd be happy to hook them up with a recruiter who can assist them in earning their own PH plate

I've also run across some who abuse the priviledge. The plate only gets you out of so much, plus I know cops who don't care and write tickets anyway. So y'all slow down and be safe.

I'm not an aggressive driver, life is too short to drive stupid.

RTO · Post by **RTO** » July 8th, 2008, 8:09 am

RangerX wrote:
Silverback wrote:
RTO wrote: Says the guy who just posted this:
All I can say is....

viewtopic.php?t=13840&highlight=
Oh just damn.

So RTO, how is Smiley doing these days?

Dunno. When was the last time I even looked at or made a post in that thread? Two ~ Three years ago? Get a life, dude!

Silverback · Post by **Silverback** » July 8th, 2008, 8:33 am

RTO wrote:
RangerX wrote:
Silverback wrote: All I can say is....

viewtopic.php?t=13840&highlight=
Oh just damn.

So RTO, how is Smiley doing these days?
Dunno. When was the last time I even looked at or made a post in that thread? Two ~ Three years ago? Get a life, dude!

Get a life?...You can do better than that!