Random thought of the moment.

[Jim]

Don't believe in Santa, flying reindeer, or snowmen that talk and walk around ? Well thats all fine and dandy, but let me tell ya about one Christmas critter ya better believe in.......The Christmas Gnomes !!

Why, might ya ask ?

I'll tell ya why. These sneaky little bastards are alive and well, I tell ya. And for 11 months out of the year when ya think all Christmas critters are taking some R & R.....BEWARE ! Not these cotton-picking little sawed-off ass-clowns ! Ya know what Christmas Gnomes do ? I'll tell ya.....these sneaky little critters sneak around ALL year long and seek out and find Christmas lights ! No matter where ya put them, no matter how many ya have, these determined little butt-munch Gnomes will find your lights. And no matter how well or how carefully you put away your Christmas lights last year, these sick little bastards spend 11 months secretly screwing up your lights into a green ball of mixed up wires that make silly string look organized !!!

Rant over.

Merry Christmas everyone !

I suspected this for many years. I wasn't brave enough to put my thoughts on paper.

[KW Driver]

I just got rid of the damn lights... easier than trying to eradicate those fucking gnomes. then I had kids... indoor and outdoor lights, little glass bombs hanging right at tail or paw level... good times.

I'm not so much of a curmudgeon that I don't appreciate the sentiments of a holiday, but I hate dealing with the trappings of nearly all of them.

[Baseplate]

I have been made a Kentucky Colonel, now if I can get the wife to call me Colonel things will be great around these parts

[Baseplate]

I have been made a Kentucky Colonel, now if I can get the wife to call me Colonel things will be great around these parts

care to share the chicken recipe?

They don't give it to the cherrys. That only happens after they are sure you aaren't going to quit

[rgrokelley]

I have been made a Kentucky Colonel, now if I can get the wife to call me Colonel things will be great around these parts

No shit. I was made one of those back in the early 1990s.

http://kycolonels.org/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Flesh Thorn]

So you two can do auctions now ?

[RangerX]

Wait. KY? Chickens?

<RangerX backs away slowly>

[KW Driver]

Wait. KY? Chickens?

<RangerX backs away slowly>

As if you don't have 10 links for that.

[RangerX]

Wait. KY? Chickens?

<RangerX backs away slowly>

As if you don't have 10 links for that.

Only 7 actually, not counting the "plushy chicken" sites.

[Boudicca]

Those damned chiggers are finally dead.

[cams]

Those damned chiggers are finally dead.

Nevermind. I read it too fast.

[Boudicca]

I never imagined anyone actually giving someone a fruitcake for Christmas... but there it sits... staring at me, laughing... daring me to take just one bite... all along just waiting to give me ptomaine because it's been regifted 16 times in 16 years (dogs don't live that long!) What the hell did I do to them to deserve this??!!!