locked out - let me in

[Steadfast]

Didcha eva git that feeling tha ya are locked out? isolated?

> http://www.armyranger.com/bb/viewtopic.php?t=15676

Heed these words of advice. Do something for your self now even if you feel they are only minor symtoms. There may be other things you can't see or refuse to believe.

One of the very 1st symtoms I experienced was I thought my hearing was not working properly. To explain, sometimes when I was in college the instructor or professors words could no longer be heard by me. I would notice it and re-focus to hear again.

2nd symtom was nightmares (upon returning home I re-roomed with my brother). I wasn't even aware I was having nightmares but my brother one time related I was screaming "kill the yada yada yada" I laughed at my brother and said I was not having nightmares. Then one night I woke up hearing myself shouting about yada yada yada. I found myself sitting up in bed holding my imaginary M-16 in my hands. The vision of where I was in my dreams fresh in my mind/memory banks.

I 1st went to the V.A. a month after I got home, it was May 1970 to apply for dental benefits and check on my hearing. After the hearing tests were completed the V.A. told me to see a Psychiatrist as my hearing they said was excellent. Because hearing doesn't turn on and off - it is either on or off. I sure as shit didn't want to see a Psychiatrist for my hearing problem.

Car backfires were another problem back in 1970, I was crossing Park Avenue around the low 50's when a car backfired. My knees collapsed and I fell on my back (quickest way for my reflexes to work automatically for me in the bush sometimes) I rolled over into a firing position. No shit - in my suit - in the middle of the street in the middle of fucken Manhattan. As I got back to my feet and dusted off my clothing only a slight embarrassment came over me - I was more relieved I wasn't shot than anything else.

Pay attention gentlemen, only you can help yourself. My generation and those before me are considered lost causes on treatment for PTSD because we went too long without treatment or effective treatment. The V.A. has better treatment plans today than 35 years ago.

THE LIFE YOU SAVE MAY BE YOUR OWN.