After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell?" says the Pope with a smile?
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kph. (Remember, the Pope is German.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there, the mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: " A senator?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "The Prime Minister?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "His chauffeur is the Pope!"
VATICAN HUMOR
Moderator: Site Admin
VATICAN HUMOR
RS Class 5-82
French Commando 11-83
LRSLC Class 5-87
U.S. Army 1980-1984 and 1987-1990
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“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.”
George S. Patton
French Commando 11-83
LRSLC Class 5-87
U.S. Army 1980-1984 and 1987-1990
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“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.”
George S. Patton
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- Ranger/LRRP/Admin
- Posts: 8306
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Re: VATICAN HUMOR
SUA SPONTE - "We few, we happy few, we BAND OF BROTHERS;
for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother!" - Shakespeare
RLTW! - Land of the Free BECAUSE of the Brave
RS 3-70
SSG VN 69-70
I Co., 75th. Inf.
4/9 Inf., 25th ID
Mentored Ranger kozzman555
http://www.75thrra.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 183
http://www.ranger.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 3537
for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother!" - Shakespeare
RLTW! - Land of the Free BECAUSE of the Brave
RS 3-70
SSG VN 69-70
I Co., 75th. Inf.
4/9 Inf., 25th ID
Mentored Ranger kozzman555
http://www.75thrra.com" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 183
http://www.ranger.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; - LM 3537
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- Supreme Goddess of Drive On/Moderator
- Posts: 6921
- Joined: April 6th, 2005, 12:39 pm
Re: VATICAN HUMOR
~Ranger Wife~
"Love your enemies...it pisses them off!"
"Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow."
"Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon."
"Love your enemies...it pisses them off!"
"Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow."
"Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon."
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- Ranger
- Posts: 666
- Joined: February 18th, 2008, 8:00 pm
Re: VATICAN HUMOR
I have three t-shirts. One says: I Survived Catholic School. The second one says: I'm a Recovering Catholic. The third t-shirt? The "God Squad" has banned me from talking about it! God Bless the Pope and God Bless the State of Texas...
Ranger Class 6-73 & 7-73
C Company, 75th Infantry (Ranger)
The Ranger Department (City Team)
I Hope They Serve Cold Beer in Hell...
C Company, 75th Infantry (Ranger)
The Ranger Department (City Team)
I Hope They Serve Cold Beer in Hell...
Re: VATICAN HUMOR
I am going to have to pass that one along. That was funny as fuck.
2/75 Blacksheep 92-93, 1/9 93-94
1759 society member
"You will know me by the scars I bear.
You will know me by the hate I swear."-OTEP
01010011 01110000 01100001 01110010 01110100 01100001 01101110 00101111 01001000 01100101 01110010 01101111 00101110
1759 society member
"You will know me by the scars I bear.
You will know me by the hate I swear."-OTEP
01010011 01110000 01100001 01110010 01110100 01100001 01101110 00101111 01001000 01100101 01110010 01101111 00101110
- rakkasan_187
- Tadpole
- Posts: 31
- Joined: January 21st, 2009, 8:39 pm
Re: VATICAN HUMOR
nuff said.
OIF 2003, 05-06, 07-08.
A Co. Sappers 3STB 3BDE Rakkasan
101st Airborne Division AASLT
"NE DESIT VIRTUS"
" I didn't train you guys to be pussies. I trained you to kill the motherfucker when he points a weapon at you" COL. Steele, Former Rakkasan Brigade Commander.
A Co. Sappers 3STB 3BDE Rakkasan
101st Airborne Division AASLT
"NE DESIT VIRTUS"
" I didn't train you guys to be pussies. I trained you to kill the motherfucker when he points a weapon at you" COL. Steele, Former Rakkasan Brigade Commander.