waitress: Sorry, nope we don't have that on our menu

[Steadfast]

Didcha ever go in a restaurant and order somtin and server's say they don't have it.

What was the food and how did you overcome the no reply and get the food made up?

Or were you one of the few that went into the restaurant kitchen or even a neighbor/friends abode to make it yourself?

Didcha haveta order two plates to make the one you wanted?

Now we gots lotsa wives and mothers & some talented Ranger/Army cooks on here that can share a story or two - one perhaps with humor or matter-of-fact.


.

[Slowpoke]

Changed medications again didcha Brother?

[Rock Island Ranger]

Changed medications again didcha Brother?

[Nomad]

Changed medications again didcha Brother?

Priceless

[rgrpuck]

Thats fuckin funny

[Steadfast]

Priceless!

Have you got a camera in my house Slowpoke? Your jes like Kreskin.

while takin the NEW MED's I entered a small restaurant in Columbia, GA. I had the urge for an american cheese omlete sammich. The waitress with the sloooooow southern draaaaawl sez We don't serve that kind of sammich here.

Alrighty I sez, Can you give me an american cheese omelete with toast and some grits and a cup of java.

Sure thing Honey she sez.

She set the plate down in front of me & I proceeded to make a sammich out of the american cheese omlete and the toast she gave me.

She sez Now Honey, I told you we don't have that sammich on our menu. I said I know. I didn't order that sammich 'cause y'all don't have em. I'm jes eatin my eggs & toast the way I like eatin them.

As I picked up my tab, there was a charge for an american cheese omlete sammich even tho they didn't sell em.

I left a gracious tip, 15%.

[AbnRgr289]

As I picked up my tab, there was a charge for an american cheese omlete sammich even tho they didn't sell em.

I left a gracious tip, 15%.

How about a Gracious tip of...................notta?

[Steadfast]

Sitting in a Catonese Restuarant in Chinatown in NYC with the in-laws made me wish to not be here. My wife's family liked their food mild and I like my food jazzed up or spicy. One thing I hate is chow mein. Seeing that makes me wanna puke. In Japan (on R&R) we were forewarned by military not to eat Japanese food as it invaribably had dog, cat, possibly even rat in it. In Vietnam it was even worse because as every G.I. knew the only dogs ( I neva saw a cat in RVN except tigers) in country were on military bases. I like Manchurin, Mandarin or Hunan spicy. So after scanning the menu for like 4 times, rice was the only thing appealing to me. Fuck it I said and grabbed a Chinese waiter, sez I, Let me have a Singapore Chow mei fun, can you make it? The waiter repeats after me like he never heard it before. Singapore Chow mei fun. Yes we make it for you. Man I had the biggest shit eating grin on my face naming a spicy food and he said mild or hot - naturally I said hot, hot as you got, spicy as you got. My wifes family looked at me like I was suicidile(sp?). I ate the food enjoying every bite. I offered to all but no one accepted.


.

[Speedracer]

I bet the buffet there looks like just like a Louisiana buffet

went to Kansas once i swear the used the same cooks :?

[VLuplow]

On one of our many stops from Vegas to El Paso, I made the mistake of asking for a medium Coke. The girl behind the counter informs me they don't have medium size drinks and they only have Pepsi. I ask her do they have a small size? Yes, they do have a small size. Do they have an extra large? Yes, they have an extra large. What is the size in the middle? A Large. Thanks, I'll take it. So did you still want a Coke? No a Pepsi will be fine. I walked out shaking my head and listening to my hubby laughing.

[Steadfast]

I spent my 1st year in the military at all southern bases, Ft Jackson, Ft Gordon, Ft Benning, & finally Ft Bragg.

I was a nothern soldier in a southern town. One time I saw a roadside truck doing business selling food. I was reading the menu on the side of the truck, white bread, rye bread sammichs and a Hoagie. Fuck I sez to myself, what the fuck is a hoagie? I ask the sammich maker, You got any bagel sammich's with ham & cheese? NO, we ain't got no bagels heaaar. Next, she sez. I sez, well how 'bout some I-Talian bread hero, ya got that? NO, we ain't got no A-Talian bread heaaar. Loook Lady I sez, How 'bout a roll with ham & chesse & mayo? NO, wee dont have no rolls heaaar mistah. Next, she said. I sez, I want a hero sammich, ham & cheese with mayo. She sez, Then ya waan a hoagie mistah. I relented and took the hoagie. It was 1/2 the size of an I-Talian hero. I took a few bites of the soft crust, doughy bread and wanted to toss it in the refuse but ate it anyway. I silently said to myself, You are in the Army now.


.

[Nija]

Reminds me of the time I was in L.A. for some kind of corporate training. First day there, while we were out to lunch I asked the waitress for some sweet tee.
She looks up and says pardon me. Again I say ‘may I have some sweet tee’ she is all pissed off and leaves. The others are dying laughing at me. I can not figure what in the hell is so funny. One of them states that out here you only ask for Tea. There is no such thing as sweet tea.
Put a hint of a southern drawl in the statement and you get
May I have some sweetie?

[Cat]

VLuplow down here she would have asked you what kind of Coke you wanted. Sprite, Mountain Dew, Dr Pepper....it's all "coke."

*shakes head*

I don't get it either, but then I ain't from around here.

LOL, I know people like that....Coke is everything.


The only thing that I've wanted but was not on the menu is sweet tea ... you know you're not in the south when they don't have sweet tea (and you have to make it yourself)!!!!